


I Need More Affection Than You Know

by Taimat



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Animal Ears, Animal Traits, Enemies to Lovers, Explicit Consent, Fluff, Kinkmeme, M/M, Magical Realism, nekomimi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-11 13:33:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7894564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taimat/pseuds/Taimat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A kinkmeme fill from the days of yore, posted originally on LJ way back in 2011.</p><p>"Another Nekomimi Iza request c:<br/>It's Shizaya, but this time, no Shinra tampering.<br/>I want Shiki/someone from Shiki's group, to have the means of [giving Izaya cat ears].</p><p>Bonus points if Izaya can't actually 'talk' but instead can only meow and other cat sounds.</p><p>Smut is, of course, a must."</p><p>This is my take on a (serious? realistic?) nekomimi fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue/Day 0

**Author's Note:**

> Five years later, I have returned!
> 
> I've edited a bit of this, along with writing more, but it's the same story you (might) remember~ I hope it holds up!

"I assume you're capable of what I'm asking? I only want him out of my hair for a few days."

"Yes, of course, Shiki-san." Her voice was pitched high in excitement.

"You have free reign, but I don't want you to hurt him. Understood?"

Her gasp was audible. "I would never do that, Shiki-san!" The look he gave her was piercing, disbelieving, and she blushed. "Well, not unless he wanted it…" Recovering herself as quickly as she could, she glanced up. "May I ask…what's changed Shiki-san's mind?" Ideas were already turning over in her head, and she could barely contain herself. He had never allowed her this kind of freedom, this kind of access to the person she most wanted to charm…

"Consider it a birthday present."

"But…it isn't Izaya-san's birthday."

There was an exasperated sigh from across the desk. "It's _my_ birthday present."

 

* * *

 

Izaya spun to face the window gleefully, pressing his hand to the cold glass as though reaching out to touch the crowds below. His fingertips left smudges behind, sullying the pristine surface, but he would leave that for Namie to take care of later.

When he went to rise from his chair, he swayed, and blackness crawled across his vision. He blinked furiously, trying to dispel it, but within seconds, everything was completely dark.

It did not help his blindness-induced panic to hear a voice emerge from the void.

_"Izaya-san, everything is okay! I'm here to make your dreams come true!"_

He tried to speak, tried to ask what the hell was going on, but found he couldn't. He couldn't say a word.

_"I'll cause you no harm! But I have finally been given permission to have my way with you!"_

Gagging somewhere in the back of his throat, he shook his head, lifting a hand to scratch at his scalp, which had begun to itch horribly. His fingers froze in terror when he encountered something soft and furry protruding from his head.

_"Now, now, none of that! If you're not happy with them, I'll tell you how to get back to normal, Izaya-san."_

He felt one ear twitch in interest, followed immediately by a wave of nausea. How was this possible?

 _"It's cured by intimacy! I'm sure you know what I mean."_ There was a giggle, and it sent shivers down Izaya's spine. _"But I'll help you out even more! I'll leave you in his apartment so you two can start getting to know each other better! Isn't it perfect? I'm sure that, deep down inside, this is what you've always wanted!"_

…actually, Izaya would rather he were blind.

 

* * *

 

It had been a normal day like any other, but such normalcy was brought to a screeching halt when he touched the door to his apartment and everything went black.

_"Ah, don't worry, don't worry!"_

…well, that was new.

_"I only wanted to warn you that Izaya-san is sick."_

Shizuo blinked, though it didn't make any difference.

The voice took his stunned stupor as a sign to continue, _"And you're the only one who can cure him!"_

"I want nothing to do with that fucking louse!" Had he been able to find anything in this emptiness, he probably would have broken it, by now.

_"Don't be like that! He needs you! He's so vulnerable and cute… He'll melt your heart! I'm sure you'll see. Be gentle with him, and enjoy!"_

The blackness cleared immediately, and Shizuo looked down at the metal handle beneath his fingers. He hadn't crushed it, which was surprising… Grumbling to himself and wondering if maybe he hadn't gone crazy, he pushed open the door, doing his best to get that voice out of his mind.

He froze completely upon stepping into the entryway.

Izaya. Asleep. On his couch.

Shizuo roared and dropped his bag of groceries, not even removing his shoes before storming over to where Izaya lay, curled into a neat little ball. He reached out and grabbed the man by his jacket, smashing him into the wall above the sofa and causing him to jerk awake.

Red eyes opened, and Izaya's mind raced to try and figure out where he was, when he'd gotten there, and why…oh, fuck. He was about to say something, anything to talk his way out of this, when the beast turned and flung him into the opposing wall, just barely missing the television.

The force had been considerably less than what Izaya was used to, presumably to minimize damages to Shizuo's own apartment, but it had hurt nonetheless, and Izaya fell to the floor with a pitiful little mewl.

It shocked them both.

Izaya pushed himself up, leaning against the wall and gaping at Shizuo. And it was during this moment of confusion that Shizuo noticed the furry black ears perched atop Izaya's head, currently pressed back as flat as they would go.

"What the hell is this, flea?" Shizuo reached out and pulled at one, as if doing his best to tug it straight off Izaya's head, convinced that they were part of some costume.

In response, the brunet let out the most pained yowl Shizuo had ever heard, and the sound so startled him that he let go immediately. Izaya curled up with his hands over his ears, pained, pathetic little mews filling the room.

It would have indeed have melted Shizuo's heart, had this not been Izaya.

"I'm going to ask again." Shizuo's voice was tight, body shaking in barely-controlled anger. "What. The fuck. Is going on?"

Izaya looked up again, reeling from pain he'd never before experienced, and he blamed that for the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. He tried to speak again, horrified when nothing came out except for a meow. His eyes widened. Why couldn't he speak!? How on earth was he going to get out of this, now!?

He faced the monster of Ikebukuro, armed with nothing. He didn't have his knife on him, he most definitely could not overpower the beast, and he was unable to speak, unable to twist and turn words to his liking. Without the use of that skill, he was truly defenseless. Izaya was sure that, this time, he was going to die. Or at least end up hospitalized, if Shizu-chan were in a forgiving mood.

> _"Izaya-san is sick…and you're the only one who can cure him!"_

The echo of that voice made Shizuo snarl. "What have you gotten yourself into this time, Izaya-kun? Who did you piss off?" Not that the voice had sounded pissed in the slightest. If anything, it had sounded positively gleeful. But Shizuo could see no other reason for this happening. It wasn't as if this was a good thing. Clearly, Izaya was being punished for something.

Izaya tried. He really did. But he was completely incapable of making any noise that sounded remotely human. He lifted one hand from where it was still cradling an ear to point to his throat, shaking his head in despair. He knew Shizu-chan had the brain of a protozoan, but Izaya hoped he could understand such simple gestures, at least.

"You…you can't speak?"

Even in his distress, Izaya still managed to look nonplussed.

Shizuo grinned, the look in his eyes crazed. "So…you're locked in my apartment without even your words to defend you. Someone must love me."

The brunet wanted so badly to shoot back something about Shizu-chan being unlovable, being a monster, to assure him that no matter what he did, he would always drive away anyone he cared for… But if he could do that, it would mean he was his normal self. It would mean that he could talk his way out of this one.

As it stood…he was effectively cowering on the floor in the shadow of one very angry, much-too-pleased Shizuo Heiwajima.

Izaya didn't think he'd ever been truly afraid of Shizuo until now.

Shizuo's attention was momentarily diverted by something black that flicked out from behind Izaya's back.

"This is too good to be true…"

Eyes wide, Izaya had just enough time to see what Shizuo was so entranced by and subsequently throw himself to the side, sliding away from the beast's grasping hands. He hadn't even known he had a tail until now. And if his ears had hurt so very much, he couldn't imagine…

Shizuo laughed, and there was nothing warm in it. "Here, kitty, kitty…"

He was going to die. He. Was going. To die. A terrified whine squeaked out of Izaya's throat as he backed himself into the corner of the living room. He knew that Shizu-chan's anger was justified. This was how all of their interactions went. But neither party had ever been rendered so completely helpless, before. This was nowhere close to fair!

Izaya looked around frantically, but there wasn't a plausible escape route anywhere. Shizu-chan was blocking the door, and he didn't think he could get to the window quickly enough, never mind the fact that it was closed and he'd have to break through it. There were no sharp objects nearby, and he certainly couldn't heave the furniture about, unlike other sad excuses for humanity.

As Shizuo stalked forward again, Izaya threw his pride away in an attempt to save his own skin. He curled up on the floor, knees against the carpet, tail wound tightly across his own lap where it was covered by his hands. He leaned forward in something of a bow, dropping his ears and throwing Shizuo the biggest, most watery eyes he could manage.

And he mewed.

Shizuo paused again, gritting his teeth. He knew the louse was only doing it to save himself. And yet, he couldn't bring himself to punch the informant's lights out. There was no doubt that he deserved it, but--

"Dammit!" Shizuo bent down and curled a hand around Izaya's neck, hauling him up and into the wall again. "I don't know what the hell you're trying to pull, and I don't care what it is you've gotten yourself into. But you will leave me the fuck out of it!" Each sentence was punctuated with the thud of Izaya's back against the plaster behind it.

Izaya gasped and choked in his hold, and Shizuo thrilled at the look of terror in those eyes, the feeling of blood pumping quickly beneath his fingertips. But though he finally had Izaya in his grasp, though nothing could stop him from squashing the smaller man like the insect he was…he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to off Izaya when he was so completely defenseless, his eyes welling with tears, fingers gripping loosely at Shizuo's wrist.

With a roar, he stomped to the door and literally threw Izaya out of it, snarling as he shut and locked it against the prone body in the hallway.

Izaya coughed, taking quick, wheezing breaths through his now-unconstricted airway. He trembled on the cold tile, unwilling to move just yet, but when he remembered the wrath that burned in Shizu-chan's eyes, he found the strength to crawl to the stairwell. He figured that, in the event that Shizuo came out to finish the job, he could at least throw himself down it in a last-ditch escape attempt.

He shuddered against the wall, recovering, tail and ears twitching. In a moment of foresight, he tugged his hood over his head to hide his ears and wrapped his tail about his waist like a very furry belt. Maybe he could make it back to his apartment without anyone noticing.

That was what he should do. Make his way home and take up business like normal. He could hide his new…abnormalities well enough, and though he couldn't speak, well…he could find some way around that, surely. Maybe he could become an internet-only informant? Informant by correspondence? Ah, perhaps Namie could…no, scratch that. He didn't want her sticking her nose into any more of his affairs. Celty, then? He'd think of something, anyway.

Izaya managed to take shaky steps down the stairs, gasping in a breath as soon as he stepped outside, body relaxing instantly from the feel of the warm sun on his face. He couldn't help the slow stretch that followed, the arching of his back in pleasure, though he chose to ignore what had sounded like the beginnings of a purr rumbling from his chest.

Odd. He'd never been much for sunbathing before, but he found the idea tempting, now. Maybe he'd look around for a place to--

Izaya's muscles seized up in shock before another wave of despair came rushing over him. His eyes scanned the buildings, the street signs, the billboards frantically, but no matter where he looked, he…he…

…he couldn't read anything.

Izaya pressed a shaking finger to his palm, trying to write out something. Anything. But his finger never moved, save for the jerking scribble that it made out of panic.

He nearly dropped to his knees. As it was, he had to lean heavily against the wall of Shizuo's apartment, his brain trying to process everything…

So, he couldn't speak, he couldn't write, he couldn't read, and he looked like a catboy out of some fangirl's wet dream.

And the only thing that could fix all of this was, apparently…Shizu-chan.

The informant slid slowly to the sidewalk. There was no way he could return to work like this. He was so completely and utterly useless. Willing the tears away, he blinked rapidly at the sky.

There really was no other choice, was there? He would have to try and convince Shizuo to fix him (though he currently refused to think about what exactly that would entail) or he would die trying. He couldn't live like this…

Burying his head in his arms, he let out a mewling whimper, which only made him feel worse.

He would have to rely on the goodness of Shizuo's heart - buried way, way down inside, at least as far as Izaya was concerned. The brunet was sure that, were their roles reversed, he'd laugh in the brute's face and refuse him aid, unless he could glean some kind of enjoyment from it. But while Shizu-chan was quick to anger and possessed the mental capacity of a soybean…he wasn't spiteful.

Now all Izaya had to hope for was that he would be able to get within Shizuo's good graces before the man killed him. And with that depressing thought, he turned to trudge back up the stairs again, fully planning on spending the night at Shizu-chan's door, when his stomach rumbled.

Fumbling in his pockets, he was grateful to discover that whoever had done this to him hadn't relieved him of his wallet. At least he still had his money. And his identity. For whatever use that was to him, right now. He would make a silent, awkward trip to the nearest convenience store, and then he'd spend the night in front of Shizu-chan's door.

He tried not to dwell upon how pathetic that sounded.

 

* * *

 

When the next morning came, Shizuo stepped out of his apartment as he did every morning.

The difference today was that he tripped over Izaya, who had been sleeping in front of the doorway.

There was a roar and a yowl that echoed down the hallway, and it was a testament to the survival skills of Shizuo's neighbors that they didn't wander out to look.

"Why are you still here!?"

Izaya cradled his ribs in one arm, wincing up at Shizuo and pointing to his ears. Surely that was explanation enough?

"You can't…you can't seriously be expecting me to fix you."

Izaya mewed, eyes tearing up again.

"Fucking hell. It's too early for this shit." Shizuo closed his eyes, willing this whole problem to be gone when he opened them again. No such luck. "Here's how this is gonna work, flea. I have work today. If you're still here when I get back, then we'll talk. Or I'll talk. You can…meow. Or something." Shizuo laughed. "I dunno when I'll be home, but if you want my help, you'll be waiting." With a look that was a little too sharp for Izaya's tastes, Shizuo locked the door and strode away.

Shit. Izaya sighed. He'd been hoping for at least a straight yes or no. He hadn't expected Shizuo to draw it out like this, to make him even more miserable with anxiety.

At least he could use this time to think of all the ways he could persuade Shizu-chan to be…to be _intimate_ with him.

…ugh. Maybe he'd have to settle for getting back into the blond's apartment, first.

 

* * *

 

He had had all day to prepare himself for this. To prepare himself for seeing Izaya and not devolving into a murderous rage. He'd taken longer than was necessary, wandering about the city in order to both calm himself and to make the brunet stew in his misery for a little longer. Shizuo hadn't really been expecting the other man to still be waiting for him, since it was now well into the evening, but there he was, hunched against the wall and curled in upon himself. His hood was up over his head in what Shizuo assumed was an effort to avoid the obvious comments, and he barely twitched when the blond stepped up to the door.

"You gonna move?"

Izaya blinked and rubbed at his eyes, scooting away across the floor. He didn't know why he was so tired. Maybe he just needed a nap. The sun was so warm and beautiful outside, but he'd been stuck in here for--

"Coming in?"

Izaya jolted. The calmness in the tone surprised him in a way that Shizu-chan's rampages did not. This was a little unnerving, actually. But when he looked up warily, the expression matched the voice. Not that there wasn't an undercurrent of disgust, distrust and exasperation, but Shizu-chan was just standing there, holding the door open, actively not throwing things at him.

The brunet stood shakily and slunk over, heart jumping when he slid past the other man and into Shizuo's apartment.

The door closed and locked behind him, and he sauntered over to the furthest wall, trying to get as much distance between himself and Shizu-chan as possible without making it obvious that he was doing so. From the look on the blond's face, however, he hadn't succeeded.

"So," Shizuo crossed the room quickly, his form seeming to loom over Izaya. One hand came up near the informant's face, and he clenched his eyes shut, waiting for the blow to fall. Instead, the brute merely tugged the hood off. Izaya's ears twitched in response. Shizuo laughed. "Wanted to make sure they were still there." His palms hit the wall on either side of Izaya's head, caging him in, and it was all Izaya could do to not whimper.

"Do you know who did this to you?"

A shake of Izaya's head.

"Do you know why?"

A very emphatic shake of Izaya's head.

"Tch…" Shizuo's eye twitched. "Then do you know how to fix it?"

Izaya's face drained of nearly all color before flushing pink immediately afterward. Shizuo shifted impatiently.

"Can you help me out at all, here?"

The brunet's mind was spinning. He couldn't just throw himself at Shizuo. The beast would toss him out on his ass, possibly killing him in the process, and then he'd never get better. But he couldn't do nothing, because Shizu-chan would never, ever be able to figure this out on his own. So what could he do?

He could summon all of his courage, suppress his gag reflex, and lean forward to wrap his arms around the blond's waist.

Both froze, equally shocked by the action, and Izaya had just enough time to note that Shizuo actually smelled rather good, a little like smoke, and a little like sunlight--

Shizuo's hands on his shoulders made him mewl, and the other man drove him back harshly into the wall. "You…what? What!?"

This wasn't good. Maybe the blond would think Izaya merely needed to be near him? Maybe he wouldn't overreact? If he would just let him stay then Izaya was sure he could figure something out…

As always, Shizu-chan did nothing of what was expected. His eyes shut in an effort to keep a hold on his emotions. "You have one week to prove to me that you're not completely useless." His voice was firm, and Izaya looked up just in time to see him turn and wander into the kitchen.

…what had just happened?


	2. Days 1-3

Izaya followed the blond into the kitchen, tail twitching nervously, unsure of what else to do. He watched the other man open the fridge, make a small noise of realization, and head back into the entranceway. Retrieving his bag of groceries, Shizuo set about putting everything away, paying no mind to Izaya. By the time he'd laid out a pan and turned on the stove, the informant was thoroughly baffled, letting out a quiet, "…mrrow?" in his confusion.

Glancing over, Shizuo's eyes weren't…hard, necessarily. But they held little of the warm contentment that was usually present whenever the blond wasn't rampaging about. "Gotta be honest, I kinda keep hoping that if I forget about you for long enough, you'll disappear." Izaya's ears swept back and he glared at the man from across the kitchen, though it was rather half-hearted, since he was still quite worried about being kicked out. "Can you blame me?" Shizuo turned to face the brunet, a spatula in one hand.

It was…incredibly domestic. Izaya pondered thoughts of the blond in an apron before snuffing them out, not wanting to burst into laughter - whatever that would sound like. He found himself actually content to watch the brute cook, if that was indeed what he was doing. He didn't really trust Shizu-chan not to poison him, but then, that would be much too stealthy and planning-oriented. Shizuo would be much more likely to hit him over the head with the pan and kill him with blunt force.

While he'd been entertaining his thoughts, Shizuo had made up two omelettes, carrying them over to the table and sitting down. "Well?"

Izaya slid into a chair opposite him with a moment's hesitation. The omelets actually looked…edible, if a little too brown for his tastes. And it was around eight in the evening, which made this completely uncultured, but he hadn't eaten all day, so he wasn't going to complain. It wasn't like Shizu-chan would understand him, anyway.

He'd barely closed his mouth around the first bite before making a face, doing his best to swallow it down.

Shizuo grunted from across the table. "I know it's not pretty, but it's not fucking terrible."

Izaya shook his head, eyes wide. He blinked at the omelette as if expecting it to turn into something else. It seemed perfectly fine, except for the taste. And it hadn't been terrible, true, but it had been…not what he remembered omelettes tasting like. Completely unappetizing. He whined and rested his chin in his hand, deciding if he wanted to try eating it again.

After a few seconds of Izaya poking the egg with his fork, Shizuo sighed and stood. The smaller man flinched. Surely he wouldn't throw him out because Izaya hadn't liked his cooking, right? His eyes watched the other man warily, but Shizuo only reached to pull a can from a shelf, opening it, draining it, and setting the whole thing in front of the brunet.

It was a can of tuna. Izaya pinned his ears, quelling a growl before it could bubble up. Was Shizu-chan laughing at him?

"Just try it." He reached over and stuck the informant's fork in the can himself, sitting back and watching the other while he continued to make his way through his own dinner.

Izaya sighed and raised a forkful to his lips, if only to placate the blond. He supposed he had to keep the other man happy, and if that involved eating the lowest form of fish straight from the can in a painful mockery of what he'd become through no fault of his own, then--

That first bite was instantly more delicious than the first bite of egg. His eyes went wide with astonishment, landing upon the brute across from him.

"Lucky guess." After that, Shizuo merely shrugged and went silent again, preoccupied with eating.

Izaya was baffled, more from Shizuo's uncharacteristic display of insight than anything else, and he continued to stare at the other, unmoving.

"D'you want me to put it in a dish for you?"

The blond hadn't even looked up, but Izaya could see the smirk on his face, anyway. He growled a little, not bothering to hide it. If the other was going to poke fun at him, then the least Izaya was going to do was to voice his displeasure.

The noise only made Shizuo chuckle.

"You're gonna pay me back for all the shit I'm buying for you."

Izaya looked up from his (nearly-empty, ugh) can of tuna, tilting his head in question.

"The food, the drinks, the litterbox--"

Shizuo was cut off by the sound of Izaya hacking and choking on his dinner.

"…hairball?"

Goddammit the blond was infuriating! Izaya tried to glare at him through the tears in his eyes but soon found himself rushing to the sink to drink from the tap, having not been given a glass of water by his idiot of a host. He didn't even notice the brute rising from his chair, as he was preoccupied with breathing, but at the first touch of Shizu-chan's hand on his back, he shuddered, slowly calming.

His eyes were red when he blinked up at Shizuo, and the taller man almost felt bad. But not quite. Sighing at the way his conscience was niggling at the back of his mind, Shizuo patted the brunet on the head. When Izaya didn't immediately object to his touch, he slid his fingers over just a little. Just enough to scratch one of those black ears.

Izaya was horrified when a soft purr rumbled in his chest. Eyes wide, he lurched away from Shizuo, pushing his back flat against the wall and staring at the brute in absolute shock.

_Does he understand, then? Does he know? Could he have guessed? Does this mean that he wants--_

The blond's laughter broke into his train of thought. "Let me make myself clear, Izaya-kun. I may not be a complete dick like you are, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to get my kicks where I can." His grin grew dangerous as that tall body loomed over the informant. "And while I won't abandon someone who needs me, which you apparently do, I'm sure as hell not going to make this easy on you, flea."

Izaya's tail twitched. He was so screwed. If he managed to get out of this alive, with what was left of his sanity and his pride intact, it would be a miracle. He would have to make himself completely adorable. Completely irresistible. So cute that even Shizu-chan wouldn't harass him.

> _"You have one week to prove to me that you're not completely useless."_

It was with these thoughts in mind that he edged slowly away from the wall and toward the table. With a soft huff, he gathered the remains of their food (Shizu-chan had cleaned his plate shortly before) and walked them to the sink. He turned on the water and plugged the drain, letting it fill a bit while he looked amongst Shizu-chan's cabinets for soap.

He froze when the blond came up behind him, body just close enough for Izaya to feel the warmth but just far enough not to touch, and opened the cabinet directly above his head. An orange bottle of detergent was placed in front of him, and Shizuo backed off.

"Good start, louse." The growled...complement...whatever-it-was grated away at Izaya, but to his credit, he didn't leave, instead pushing his sleeves up and drizzling the liquid into the warm water.

"Look at you, dirtying your hands for me."

Exasperated, Izaya flicked a mass of suds at him, which only incited more laughter.

"Okay. Cleaning your hands for me." His chuckles trailed off as he left the kitchen, leaving Izaya alone with the dishes.

The brunet frowned. It wasn't like he was incapable of doing menial labour. It was that it was far beneath him. But if Shizuo was surprised and pleased by this, well…he would have to get his hands a lot dirtier, then. Maybe he could convince Shizu-chan to fix him by the sheer amount of household chores he was capable of. This tiny, rundown apartment would gleam and shine like it never had before. And Shizu-chan would come home from work, expecting it to be its usual--

Izaya paused in his fervent scrubbing of a plate. He glanced around him, taking in the clean, tidy kitchen. His ears fell.

This would be so much easier if the brute were a slob. What was he supposed to do, now?

It wasn't long before Izaya followed Shizuo into the small living room to find the blond sprawled on his stomach across the sofa - which was the only piece of furniture in there, save one low table in front of the television stand. He stood there awkwardly while he tried to decide what to do, thoughts broken when Shizuo looked over at him. He was…he was reading? Izaya stepped closer to get a glimpse of the cover, but the taller man frowned and shifted, blocking it from view. The brunet tilted his head, and Shizuo glared at him. "None of your damn business. And no animals on the furniture."

Izaya growled low and stalked over, sitting down hard on the floor by the couch. At least it was carpeted, he supposed. Leaning against the side by Shizuo's head, he allowed his eyes to drift closed. Perhaps he'd have to raid Shizu-chan's bookshelf later, wherever that was. It was probably full of--

His heart sank when he remembered that, even if he had any desire to entertain himself with Shizuo's reading material, it didn't matter. He was incapable of reading, at this point in time. Curling his legs against his chest, he fought back angry tears. Why did this have to be so completely miserable? Why couldn't he get a break anywhere? Unable to talk, read, most likely write, stuck in this tiny apartment with a monster with anger issues who - under normal circumstances - derived pleasure from pelting him with heavy objects, and yet, it was this same monster who was supposed to heal him, and the whole thing was so ridiculous.

He felt like he was stuck in an absurd yaoi manga. With a derisive snort, he thought on the fact that, if he were following such a script, he would probably be begging, naked, for Shizuo's touch right now.

_"Shizu-cha~n… I'm so hot for you. I…I need you inside me! Please, Shizu-chan…"_

Oh, wait. He couldn't talk. Izaya tried for just a moment to imagine wordless catboy sex instead, but then he started making up Shizuo's dialogue, and…ugh.

Mulling over all the ways he would rather kill himself, the brunet was caught completely off guard when a heavy hand settled on the top of his head.

Breath stilling, he waited to see what the blond would do. His ears twitched at the memory of those same fingers crushing them so ruthlessly--

Izaya whimpered in spite of himself.

Jerking his hand back as if burned, Shizuo leaned up to look over the arm of the sofa. "What?"

His tone was rough, his eyes were hard, and Izaya decided he just didn't feel like fighting it, right now. With a mewl, he shook his head and scooted backwards into a corner of the room, tugging his hood over his head and curling up on the floor with his back to the wall. All the better to prevent Shizu-chan from sneaking up on him again.

What was Shizu-chan doing, touching him like that? It wasn't even like he cared. Not really, anyway. No more than his overactive conscience must be making him. Helping downtrodden souls in need through some warped idea of fairness and justice, or something like that.

Izaya huffed. He was not a downtrodden soul! He was a grown man! A skilled informant, capable of effectively dealing with the most dangerous beings this city possessed. He had so much to offer his humans, so many ways he could love them anew, so many ways to study them so that he might love them even more…

And yet, here he was. A grown man ridiculously adorned with cat ears and a fuzzy tail to match. A skilled informant completely incapable of doing his job, unless he decided to convey all information garnered via pictures, instead. Assuming he were still capable of drawing them. One finger traced idle designs in the weave of the carpet, and his heart ached to turn them into words.

A bitter frown crossed his face as he fisted his hands and shifted, trying to find a position that wasn't completely uncomfortable. Closing his eyes, he did his best to ignore the sound of Shizu-chan's breaths, the sound of pages turning, taunting him with what he'd lost. Couldn't the brute at least watch TV? It was like he was trying to harass him.

Remembering Shizuo's words, Izaya decided that that might indeed be exactly what the blond was doing.

Fuck everything.

 

* * *

 

The next time Izaya woke, the sun was bright on the other side of his eyelids. He clenched them more tightly shut, mewling and rolling to get it out of his eyes--

He fell.

Jolted awake, he blinked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what had just happened. The last he remembered, he had been curled in the corner, not on the couch. Definitely not on the couch. But judging from the still-warm dent in the cushions - he checked for body heat, just to make sure - he had indeed been sleeping on it. Had he somehow managed to crawl on top of it in the middle of the night? Was it possible that he was prone to sleepwalking, now?

…did cats sleepwalk?

Or maybe…maybe Shizuo had put him there?

But from the blond's tone last night, Izaya couldn't imagine that he would suddenly be all right with giving up the couch. And even if he had been, he would have had to wake Izaya up, right? To tell him he could take the couch? There was no way that the beast had carried him up there. Izaya would have woken up. He was not a deep sleeper.

Yes, Izaya was going with sleepwalking. Sleepwalking cats.

Wondering if his new condition wasn't possibly addling his brain as well, he rolled over, intending to get up. But the sun was still hitting him, streaming in through the single window. And it was so comfortable and warm…

The sound of a door slamming was the next thing to wake him. His ears pricked forward, and his tail puffed up. Shizuo was stomping around in the entryway, grumbling to himself, and even if Izaya hadn't known what he was saying, he would have been able to tell that Shizu-chan was angry.

And Izaya wanted no part in it.

He slunk slowly toward Shizuo's bedroom door, crawling low to the ground. He couldn't very well hide in the kitchen, and the living room was wide open--

"The hell are you, flea!?"

Shizu-chan's voice nearly shook the walls, and Izaya squeaked, relinquishing stealth for speed as he nearly sprinted into Shizuo's room and dove under the bed.

_Good thing Shizu-chan doesn't have a futon…_

He couldn't say what exactly made him do it, and if he were a bystander in this whole thing, he would have laughed at himself. But as it was, Shizuo was loud and angry, and Izaya wanted to be far, far away, safe from his wrath. Since he wasn't able to leave, and even if he had tried to, Shizuo was in front of the door, anyway, this seemed like the next best thing.

Izaya could hear him crashing around, and he hoped that maybe the brute would wear himself out before finding him.

No such luck.

With a creak, Shizuo lifted the bed with one hand, glaring down at the brunet where he lay on his stomach, eyes looking up in horror. The other hand shot forward to grip the informant's ankle - he didn't try to run, this time - and dragged him out before he dropped the bed back down.

Snarling, Shizuo threw the man down on the bed, as it happened to be the closest available surface. "Goddammit! You've never been afraid of me before! Why start now!?"

Izaya shivered as he looked into Shizuo's eyes, looked into the rage there. He had no idea what had happened. He couldn't even ask. But he knew that it actually wasn't his fault, this time. Knew that the blond - hopefully - wasn't mad at him. If he could just get Shizu-chan to calm down… He'd never attempted such a thing, but there was a first time for everything, right? But what was he supposed to do?

> _"…prove to me that you're not completely useless."_

Shizuo's hand tightened its grip on his shirt, and Izaya mewled in fear. Some kind of realization crossed over Shizuo's face, and he nearly roared, one hand planting itself firmly next to Izaya's head. His entire body trembled.

The brunet watched closely. It wasn't often that he got to see Shizu-chan try to control his rage - not when it was directed toward him. He felt his body relax, and possessed by some instinct he didn't know he had, he twitched his tail around, brushing it lightly up the blond's arm.

The reaction was instant. Shizuo's eyes flew open, his anger now mixing with confusion and disbelief. That was a start. He was a master at manipulation, and this? This, he could do.

> _"…prove to me…"_

Izaya flicked his tail against the blond's wrist, trailing it languidly down to the hand that was gripping violently at his shirt. Shizuo drew back a little in astonishment, and Izaya kept still, save for his tail.

This…made sense, actually. Weren't pets supposed to be good for reducing stress? Not that he was a pet by any means, but he would do what he had to...

As though the situation frightened him, Shizuo let go and sat up, no longer pinning the smaller man to the bed. Noting that he'd gained an advantage, Izaya followed, crawling forward. Shizu-chan's eyes narrowed as he tried to understand what Izaya was planning. In response, the brunet sat on his heels, cocked his head, and mewed, successfully diffusing the rest of Shizuo's wrath. Granted, the blond was now staring at him like he'd grown a second head, but he would take his victories where he could.

"You gotta be kidding me."

Izaya stared hard at him, inclining his head with an exasperated look.

Shizuo's laugh was full of disbelief and amusement. "You're that desperate to get on my good side, are you?"

Izaya huffed and edged closer.

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Shizuo reached up to pat the brunet on the head, and when Izaya didn't immediately recoil from his touch, he flicked one of the soft ears lightly. It twitched, and Izaya growled, but he didn't move. Shizuo did it again, and the ears went back. Completely perturbed, Izaya narrowed his eyes, but the blond merely laughed at him.

"Sorry, kitty."

Izaya would have been upset at the name, had Shizuo's fingers not begun to rub gently at the base of his new ears. Instead, he melted, arching into the touch with a quiet purr. He didn't look up, not really wanting to see whatever expression the blond might have at that point in time. Besides, all he really cared about was the way those fingers moved deliciously against his skin.

Shizuo's hand drifted lower, and Izaya unknowingly followed it down, surprised when his balance was upset and he fell to his side on the bed. Blinking in confusion, his vision was full of Shizu-chan's brilliant smile, amused laughter coming from deep in the blond's chest as his hand came down on Izaya's head again, weaving through the thick, dark hair.

He couldn't even find it in himself to be upset about the situation at the moment. Not when this was one of the best things he'd felt in days. And then Shizu-chan scratched and _oh_ , that was amazing. His tail flicked against the bed, and he curled up, closing his eyes. Why had he been so sleepy, lately?

The bed dipped a little, and he was pretty sure that Shizu-chan was lying next to him now, but Izaya refused to open his eyes. Refused to look at the blond and confirm that this was actually happening. That he was willingly subjecting himself to being petted. And he was enjoying it. Loudly, if his purr was any indication.

He drifted away from awareness, losing his sense of the passage of time, letting the hands of his enemy stroke him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Izaya woke again to his stomach growling, which made sense, as he hadn't eaten in ages. This was ridiculous, all this sleeping.

It was dark outside, and he was lying on the sofa. He was positive he hadn't gotten there himself. Choosing to ignore the glaringly obvious fact that Shizu-chan must have carried him after he fell asleep, the brunet stood and padded - more quietly than normal, that was a plus - his way to the kitchen. He dared a glance into Shizuo's bedroom as he passed it, since the light was still on.

But the brute was asleep, his bedside lamp illuminating the book that lay open on the sheets and casting shadows over that blond mop of hair.

Confirming that Shizuo was indeed sound asleep, Izaya continued on to the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for something appetizing. Unable to cook at the moment, since that would definitely wake the blond, he was severely limited in choices. With a sigh, he turned on the small light above the stove and reached up into the cabinets, hoping that something would spark his interest.

The first thing he noticed was the extensive collection of tins. Cans of tuna, both flaked and whole, of salmon, a few of broiled eel, different varieties and brands… Didn't Shizu-chan know his own preferences? Was it really necessary to possess a sampling of the market's entire canned fish aisle?

> _…Shizuo only reached to pull a can from a shelf… "Just try it…"_

Izaya gasped in epiphany, letting out a small squeak and turning to Shizuo's door in fear, making sure he hadn't awoken. When there was no movement forthcoming, the brunet looked back to the shelf. Shizu-chan had gone to the grocery store earlier. These must all be…for _him_. The thought that Shizu-chan had been both intuitive enough to guess that Izaya's diet might have changed, as well as the fact that he had been considerate enough to act upon it made Izaya's mind reel.

He knew without a doubt that he would never do such a thing for the brute. So why…why would he…?

Sagging against the counter, Izaya pressed a hand to his forehead. What did this mean? Did Shizu-chan care? Well, of course he did, for whatever ridiculous, misplaced reason. The informant had already decided upon that. But to have so many different kinds of fish, and in such quantity… It looked like he was planning on Izaya staying here for a little while at least.

Did that mean…Shizu-chan believed in him? Believed that he was capable of not pissing the blond off completely? Capable of being…useful?

Pulling down a whole canned tuna steak, Izaya peeled the lid off and ate out of the can with his fingers, too otherwise occupied to really think about what he was doing.

He wasn't sure that Shizuo wouldn't still kick him out at this point, but Shizu-chan was… He was willing to try. For Izaya. The thought made the brunet's stomach jump a bit, but he chalked it up to the fact that he was downing tinned fish in the middle of the night. Not quite his usual eating habits.

When he'd finished, he made sure to rinse the can so that it could be recycled, washing his hands in the process, and set it next to the sink before flipping the light back off and heading out to the couch.

He paused in Shizuo's doorway, just watching for a moment. Watching the slow rise and fall of his body as he breathed. Relaxed and peaceful. Moving slowly, carefully, Izaya crept into the room, reaching out to take the book gently and placing a tissue inside to mark the blond's place. A glance at the cover didn't tell him anything. There was only text there, and the book looked rather old…

Shaking his head, he laid it on the table. Sparing only one more look toward the blond's sleeping face, Izaya turned off the light and wandered back out the way he'd come.

 

* * *

 

Izaya rose slowly to awareness the next morning, face buried between the back of the couch and the cushions, where he'd apparently wedged himself in the middle of the night. Yawning, he rolled over to catch a glimpse of Shizuo getting ready for the day.

The blond hadn't noticed that Izaya had awoken, and he was wandering around his apartment with a toothbrush in his mouth, still in his pajamas, humming absentmindedly. Shizuo put two slices of bread into the toaster, and then there was the click of the lever before he disappeared back into his bedroom. Only a few moments later, he'd emerged and headed directly for the kitchen, sans toothbrush.

Bored with being ignored, Izaya padded after him, arriving just in time to watch Shizuo slather his toast with what had to be an illegal amount of jam.

_Really, now…_

Looking up, Izaya's expression must have been the first thing Shizuo noticed, because his voice was full of amusement.

"Not your style?"

Izaya stuck his tongue out before dragging himself over to the fish cabinet. Rummaging through it, he found some kind of broiled mackerel and joined Shizu-chan at the table, less reluctantly than would be normal. He pulled the tab back and dug in, looking up when Shizuo laughed, one finger in his mouth. He glared, but he might as well have hiccuped instead for all the good it did him.

Shizuo strode to a drawer and pulled out a pair of chopsticks, handing them to the brunet with a grin. "Just so you don't forget you're still human. Mostly. On your better days."

Izaya took them with a frown, licking bits of fish out from under his nails -- and when had they become that long, anyway? Ignoring the matter for now, he returned to watching Shizuo eat some toast with his jam.

The blond was silent, barely sparing a glance toward the other man at the table, and Izaya marveled at the contented expression on his face, at the calm with which he ate, at the surprisingly fluid movement of his body as he rose from the table and…left.

Damn. Alone again.

With a huff, Izaya finished off the tin and went back to curl on the couch, debating whether he should try turning on the TV or not. Surely he could still find the power button, right?

The sound of the shower running made his ears prick. A shower…

When was the last time he'd had one of those? A few days ago? Ew. And he absolutely was not about to start licking himself.

Surely Shizu-chan wouldn't mind loaning him the shower once he headed off to work. It wasn't like the blond would be using it, and Izaya figured they would both be happier the cleaner he was. Mind made up, Izaya settled down to wait.

Shizuo came out shirtless, towel-drying his hair frantically. If Izaya had been anyone else, he'd think that Shizuo was trying to seduce him. But since he wasn't anyone else, Shizuo paid him no mind as he strode over to the sink with absolutely no ulterior motive at all.

Realization dawning, Izaya sprung up and tried to beat him to the dishes. Shizu-chan wasn't allowed to take away the first job he'd assigned himself! He just barely managed to squeeze himself between Shizuo and the sink, turning to face the blond and making shooing motions with his hands. After a ridiculous amount of time, during which Izaya seriously questioned the other's intelligence yet again, Shizuo finally nodded and left, giving him a small smile in return.

As soon as the brute had gone to don the rest of his clothes, presumably, Izaya let out a sigh of relief. As pathetic as it was to fight over the right to do the dishes, it was all he had for now. He was about to turn on the faucet when he remembered that he was supposed to ask Shizu-chan about the shower. Somehow.

Entering Shizu-chan's bedroom slowly, Izaya really, really hoped he was fully clothed, this time…

_Oh, good._

Izaya announced his presence with a small mew, saddened by how normal such a thing felt, and when Shizuo looked over in question, he walked backwards toward the bathroom, gesturing for the blond to follow. He did so with a tilt of his head, confusion crossing his face when Izaya pointed to the shower.

"Um, what?"

Izaya sighed, pointing to himself, then to the shower.

"You want to…use the shower?"

Izaya nodded.

"Oh. Why didn't you just say so?" With a grin at the brunet's frustration, Shizuo turned, yelling that there were clean towels under the sink before grabbing his keys off the dresser. And with not even a goodbye, he was out the door.

With a roll of his eyes, the informant stripped and turned on the water, but as soon as he stuck a hand in to test the temperature, what felt like every hair on his body stood on end and he jumped back, hissing and fighting off full-body shivers.

… _what the fuck?_

 

* * *

 

Shizuo came home to find Izaya looking thoroughly miserable.

He'd tried to jump in the shower five times in total, and each time left him more depressed than the last. After the first two, he'd gone to the sink to wash dishes and managed to get through that just fine. So then he trudged back off to the shower. He thought that maybe if he closed his eyes and pretended that he was at the sink--

\--no. Nope. He definitely wasn't getting in there.

He had somehow developed a selective water phobia. So now he was both disgusting and pathetic. Joy.

"Um…how was your day?"

The absurdity of the statement almost made Izaya laugh, but then he remembered that he couldn't, so let loose an awkward, "Mrro-ow?" instead.

"You look like shit. Normally that'd make me happy, but now it's kinda…not. So, what happened?"

With a long-suffering sigh, Izaya uncurled himself from the couch and led Shizuo into the bathroom. Turning on the water, he'd barely gotten his hand under the shower head before his tail poofed and he slunk away in shivers. It had toned down from sheer panic to a very sharp discomfort, but he was still nowhere close to possibly showering.

Shizuo stared at him for all of two seconds before bursting into laughter. Izaya hissed, but Shizuo waved him off, leaning against the wall for support. "Have you been trying to shower this whole time?" Izaya sighed, and it sent the blond off again.

Frowning in frustration, the brunet grabbed Shizuo's hand to drag him off toward the kitchen. Thankfully, he came along with no argument, though he was still chuckling as he was pulled along. Stopping at the sink, Izaya let go of that hand, plugging the drain and running water into the basin.

For whatever reason, the brute had been able to guess correctly about the fish thing. Maybe he would have some insight here, too. And so, giving Shizuo a pointed look, he planted both hands firmly underwater.

Nothing happened.

"So, you can put your hands in this water, but not in that water. You know that makes no sense, right?"

Izaya glared.

"Huh."

_Huh!? That was the most intelligent thing he had to say!?_

The smaller man squeezed his eyes shut, hunching over the rising water. He shouldn't have expected anything more. Shizu-chan's previous intuition must have been nothing but a fluke, and--

Izaya screeched and flung himself across the room, clinging to the wall in terror.

What the hell had just--

_Oh_.

Terror changed quickly to a scandalized look as soon as Izaya spotted the sink hose in Shizuo's hand. He wiped water off his face, rubbing at his ears and hissing.

"Guess it's the spray thing, then."

Izaya blinked, completely unimpressed.

"Okay, come on."

Izaya didn't move.

Shizuo huffed and stalked forward, grabbing the petrified brunet by the wrist in an attempt to make him follow, but Izaya yowled and took a swipe at him without even thinking. And his newly-lengthened nails would have made contact with Shizu-chan's face, had the blond not caught him. His fingers tightened about Izaya's wrists, pressing firmly on the bones there, and Izaya mewled, seeming to shrink in Shizuo's hold.

"My apartment. My rules."

Izaya shivered, not liking at all where this was going, but he followed without further incident, whimpering as soon as they crossed the threshold of the bathroom. Shizuo stopped him in the middle of the tiled floor, squeezing his wrists one more time before muttering, "Stay," and letting go.

He could run, but…what would be the point?

Instead, he stood there, musing over his impending doom as Shizuo…filled up the tub? What?

When there were a few centimeters of water at the bottom, the blond gestured to it.

"In."

Izaya squeaked. Looking completely scandalized, he remained frozen.

Shizuo's eyes widened. "Not…not… Just put your hands in there!"

Izaya's gaze flickered back and forth from the slowly rising water to Shizuo's flustered expression. He inched closer to the tub, keeping his eyes on Shizuo as he did so, worried that the blond would shove him in before he was ready. Or spray him with the shower head out of annoyance.

Daring a glance at it, Izaya realized that it was a detachable one, the hose giving it quite a potential reach… Ears flattening, he mewled and squeezed his eyes shut, as though by doing so the situation would magically change.

"Look, d'you want me to strip you, too?" Shizuo's voice was loud in front of him, and Izaya squeaked and jumped back, crashing into the wall. His hands gripped the bottom of his shirt desperately, and he shook his head.

"Then try putting a hand in there. Cats are supposed to be clean, right? And if you won't do it, I'll do it for you. Or you can leave. Your choice."

Izaya quailed beneath Shizuo's stare, and when he did nothing more than whimper, Shizuo growled and grabbed him, tugging his jacket off and throwing it to the floor. With a strong hand around one wrist, he hauled the smaller man forward. Izaya followed along, making the most pitiful noises in his throat, and by the time Shizuo forced him to his knees near the water, he was trembling. But the brute did not let go, and he yanked Izaya down, plunging both of their hands straight to the bottom.

Water rushed around his lower arm, soaking through his shirt, and the brunet's entire body stiffened--

\--but it was…all right.

He cracked one eye open, just to make sure…

Yes, that was his hand in there, pressed flat by Shizuo's. But he was still alive. And surprisingly not miserable. His eyes widened in wonder, and upon seeing that Izaya wasn't going to bolt away, Shizuo let go and leaned back.

"See? I think it's the spray that gets you. Think you can handle it from here?"

Izaya turned to blink at the other man, and Shizuo only smiled and shook his head before standing.

"If you want, I can wash your clothes."

The brunet blinked again. Yes, that would be nice… To have clean clothes, clean hair, clean skin… He nearly purred at the prospect.

"I guess…let me know if you…need help?"

Izaya started at the comment, mouth slightly agape. He couldn't…couldn't be serious…

And that was when Shizuo pressed a hand over his eyes, seemingly coming to his senses. "Fuck. Just don't die, okay?" And he turned on his heel and strode quickly through the door, closing it a bit harder than was really necessary.

The informant waited another moment before stripping his shirt off, and he'd just finished pulling his head free when Shizuo barged in again. Izaya howled and clutched the fabric to his chest. He wasn't entirely sure what he was covering, but…the blond wasn't allowed to see it!

Shizuo merely rolled his eyes at the behavior. "Leave your stuff in front of the door. I'll grab you something else."

As soon as the door clicked shut, Izaya debated locking it, but…it was the blond's home. Technically, he was allowed to be wherever he wanted, whenever he wanted. And it wasn't like a lock would do much good against brute strength, either.

So with a sigh, he undressed quickly and dropped his clothes just in front of the door before padding back to the tub. Twisting the faucet off, he dipped one hand underwater again to make sure, and then the alluring warmth of the bath easily coaxed the rest of him in, as well.

He soaked leisurely, not even moving to wash himself as his eyes drooped. So warm, so perfect… Draping his elbows over one side of the tub and pillowing his head on them, Izaya closed his eyes, just for a minute…

Ten minutes later, Shizuo wandered back to the door, noting that Izaya had not left his clothes outside it as he'd been asked to do. With a sigh, he pressed an ear to the wood. He couldn't hear any sounds of splashing, no indication of movement at all…

Without even asking, he turned the knob and stepped inside, fully expecting to find Izaya fully clothed and cowering in fear.

He was not expecting to find him asleep in the tub, curled up in complete contentment.

"Izaya…kun?" Shizuo's voice was soft as he stepped forward. Was the brunet really asleep? In the water?

Shizuo sighed. He couldn't very well leave him there. What if he slipped and drowned? Unlikely as that was…

One of Izaya's ears twitched, and the blond paused, now aware of how close he was. Izaya was only a few meters away. And he was naked.

A blush crept onto Shizuo's cheekbones before he did his best to force it down. This was stupid. It wasn't like Izaya had anything he didn't have.

…except for those ears. And the tail. Minor detail.

He knelt before the tub, and his arms moved of their own initiative. He was only slightly aware of rolling his sleeves up, of raising one hand to stroke through soft, dark hair. Miraculously, Izaya did not wake, but a gentle purr did start to rumble from his chest. With a smile, Shizuo cupped his hand and lowered it to the water, then dripping it lightly upon the brunet's back. His fingers followed, stroking down Izaya's spine. The other man continued to purr and doze, so Shizuo turned and reached for a cloth from the cabinet, wetting it and dousing it in shower gel. If he didn't think about it too much, it was almost like giving a cat a bath. A very large cat. A very large cat with sleepy red eyes that were currently blinking up at him.

To his credit, Shizuo did not startle, instead continuing the slow drags of the washcloth down Izaya's back.

The first thing Izaya was aware of was that delicious feeling of being petted. His nose twitched as he inhaled the smell of something sweet… Vanilla with some sort of spicy note… His eyes opened lazily, and he took in the sight of the blond with no alarm at all, so lulled was he by the caress upon his skin.

It took mere seconds for Izaya's brain to finally register what was going on.

He shot back with a gasp, body twisting as he tried to figure out some way to cover himself, and his ears flattened, a loud hiss filling the room.

Shizuo was nonplussed. "I told you that if you didn't do it, I'd do it. Didn't expect you to fall asleep."

Without so much as a glance, the blond laid the cloth on the edge of the tub, submerging his hands once more to rinse them. He stood and collected the informant's clothes, shutting the door with a click.

Izaya was frozen.

What the hell had just happened!? Shizu-chan had… No, that…that beast had…

Part of Izaya's brain told him that he had quite some nerve calling the blond that, seeing as how he was the one with the tail, but the rest of him ignored it, stewing over the man invading his privacy like that, touching him like that.

_But isn't that what you need? You need him. You need his hands on you. You need his--_

Izaya dunked his head underwater in an effort to silence his thoughts.

When he finally wrapped a towel around himself and pulled the drain, he remembered that he had nothing to wear. He tentatively cracked the door open, hoping that Shizuo's usually infallible conscience had come through, despite the episode in the tub. Sure enough, there was a bundle of fabric on the floor, and Izaya reached forward and grabbed it.

Shizuo had given him a grey pullover that was surely too large, but it had a hood - an intentional choice, certainly. The thought that he could hide his ears comforted him, though he'd never tell Shizuo that. In the event that he could, anyway. There was also a pair of black sweatpants that dragged on the floor when he walked, just a few centimeters too long. He first attempted tucking his tail into them, wanting any semblance of normalcy he could muster, but that was plain uncomfortable. So he settled for tucking the waistband right underneath the base of his tail and pulling the shirt down.

If he remembered, correctly, his old pants must have had a hole put in them, but he wasn't sure how…

He wandered out of the bathroom, following the sound of the television. Shizuo didn't even bat an eye when he emerged, and Izaya couldn't really blame him. After thinking about it, he knew the blond had only been trying to help, and he was kicking himself for pushing away the very thing he needed to remedy this whole debacle.

He padded slowly forward, hope sinking a little more when Shizuo continued to ignore him. Maybe he should apologize? But when there were no words…

Izaya dropped to the floor, scooting close to the couch, not far from where Shizuo was pillowing his head on one arm. The other lay bent upon his side, fingers almost reaching the cushions. It was that hand Izaya reached for.

He touched tentative fingertips to the blond's wrist, gathering his courage when shuttered amber eyes finally looked his way. Shizuo was definitely upset. Frustrated. And so, what else could he do?

The brunet wrapped his fingers around that hand, bringing it gently closer, willing the other to see the apology in his eyes. Shizuo's eyes narrowed, but before he could say anything, Izaya took a deep breath and pressed the back of the blond's hand to his cheek. His ears lowered, as though he expected the gesture to hurt him somehow.

Shizuo's gasp was audible, and Izaya hoped that he wasn't going to end up punched for this. Strong fingers uncurled and freed themselves easily from Izaya's loose grasp, but rather than pull away as expected, a warm palm turned to cup that same cheek for a moment, soon moving upward to stroke his hair, to rub at his ears. The touch was gentle, and Izaya leaned into it, purring in happiness. It looked like he wasn't about to be kicked out immediately.

The blond handled him…almost delicately, if Izaya had to describe it. It was a far cry from that first day. Izaya's ears twitched in remembrance, and Shizuo's fingers lifted.

"Did I hurt you?"

The question was so unexpected that Izaya stilled completely in shock. Had Shizuo…had he… He was serious.

Izaya shook his head, eyes still wide, and Shizuo's hand returned. His eyes drifted back to the television, and Izaya relaxed, shifting so that he could lean his head against the cushion. Shizuo chuckled, flicking one black ear, only heavy enough to be annoying. Izaya looked over.

"You can sit on the couch, I guess." The blond's legs curled in, leaving the end of the sofa open, and Izaya immediately climbed on, still marveling at how very accommodating Shizuo was being.

As soon as he'd sat down, however, he found himself with a lapful of Shizuo's long legs. He gave the blond a halfhearted glare, but Shizuo only smiled, not even looking at him. With a huff, Izaya squirmed around until he wasn't crushing his tail quite so much, and since he was effectively trapped with nothing else to do, he settled in to watch the screen as well.

It was some sort of cooking thing. Izaya cocked his head. He wouldn't have thought Shizuo would be interested. But then, he had cooked for him once before. Izaya watched the program avidly, not really noticing that his hands had begun rubbing at Shizuo's calves until the blond sighed and shifted, throwing off the rhythm he had created.

He glanced down at his hands in surprise, as if wondering when he'd given them permission to do such a thing, and when he looked over at Shizuo, he found the blond looking right back.

Neither said anything.

Izaya was at a complete loss. Should he get up and leave? No, that would be silly. Besides, where would he go? The apartment wasn't that large. Should he apologize? No, that was what had started this all, anyway. He wasn't about to crawl on top of Shizuo and ask to be petted. Besides, the blond didn't look upset. Curious, maybe…

His hand fell back to Shizuo's leg, not moving, but not shying away, either. A calculating expression passed over Shizuo's face, and then he turned away again, both parties silently agreeing to simply not address the matter.

Shizuo's muscles relaxed beneath Izaya's touch, though the informant was far from feeling the same.

No matter how much he reminded himself that he needed this, needed Shizuo, he couldn't get over how weird it was that it…wasn't weird. Not on Shizuo's part, anyway. All in all, the blond had acclimated to this whole situation rather well, considering. The awkwardness seemed to stem largely from himself.

Maybe he needed to loosen up a little. Shizuo was apparently willing to work at this, so maybe he needed to do the same. If he was ever going to be…to be… _intimate_ with Shizuo - he suppressed a shudder - he had to at least get over the constant desire to keep his distance.

…which would be difficult. Izaya had never really grown close with anyone, outside of selective business relationships, and this was a completely different kind of circumstance. He had never wanted something like this. Had never needed it. Until now.

With a small sigh, he began stroking again, mere brushes against the fabric of the uniform the blond had not yet changed.

It was a start.


	3. Days 4-6

He awoke with a yawn, body arching and rolling on the cushions. He had somehow spent the night draped oddly over one of the armrests. Feeling the resultant ache, he sprawled out on the couch to try and relax some of the kinks in his body. The sun was still high in the sky, so it couldn't be that late in the day. He was getting used to this, waking up in Shizuo's apartment, waiting for him to get home from work…

Izaya curled his lip at how that sounded, putting those thoughts out of his mind immediately.

Now…how was he going to entertain himself today? Maybe he'd see if he could work the television?

The remote was on top of the low table, where Shizu-chan must have set it before going off to bed. Stretching out an arm, he could almost reach it…

He managed to wriggle and balance well enough to drag the remote closer, searching fingertips to curled palm, much too content with his current position to bother getting out of it. Squinting at the remote, he sighed, completely unsurprised to see that he couldn't read anything. But shapes! Shapes he could do! This red circle might be the power button… No, it must have been record. No matter. The green one, then…

The television clicked to life, and last night's cooking program had turned into some kind of interior decorating show. Izaya's eyes scanned the remote, looking for…there! Triangles! He succeeded in changing the channel on the first try, forced to resort to flipping through them idly, seeing as how he couldn't read any sort of television guide.

What a good little housewife he was. Flipping channels on daytime television while waiting for the man of the house to get home so he could clean up after him. Shame he wasn't about to spread his legs for the beast. Then again, it would probably get him out of this whole mess a lot faster.

Snorting at his own inane thoughts, he curled an arm under his head and put the remote down when he hit a drama channel, immediately assaulted with bright colors and children's voices. And it looked like it had just started…

 

* * *

 

Shizuo came home to Izaya flicking his tail contentedly while he slept, the television on in front of him. Toeing his shoes off and setting his plastic bag on the table, he padded over to the couch, turning his attention to whatever program Izaya had on. Noting that it was a drama with which he was unfamiliar, Shizuo shook his head and turned the device off, seeing as how Izaya wasn't watching it, anyway.

"Izaya…" His voice was soft. Too soft, apparently. One fuzzy ear twitched, and that was all. He reached out again, chuckling inwardly as he gently buried his fingers in that dark hair, scratching lightly. Izaya's mouth dropped open in response, a heavy purr filling the room, and the brunet's body twisted toward him. Even as he made sleepy waking-up noises, Izaya continued to purr and reach for Shizuo's touch.

Suddenly, the blond pulled away and stood, grinning at the sad, confused mewl that escaped as Izaya's eyes opened.

"Dinner."

Izaya's eyes, hazy with sleep, cleared slowly.

"You sleep a lot."

Izaya huffed and flicked his tail at the blond, pointing to his ears in annoyance, as though they explained everything. Which they probably did, since cats did spend much of their day sleeping.

Patting the brunet's head in what Izaya was sure was condescension, Shizuo turned back to the kitchen to pull out whatever he had brought home. The informant's cloudy mood vanished as soon as he smelled what Shizuo had bought, oversensitive nose tingling. He shot up and nearly sprinted to the table, just to see with his own eyes, just to be sure…

There in front of him was a small box containing several beautifully cut, glistening pieces of fish, the milky red flesh shot through with pale streaks of white. He brought a sleeve to his mouth to make sure he wasn't drooling.

"Sit down. They're for you."

Izaya didn't sit down so much as he collapsed into the chair, and it was all he could do to not make childish grabbing motions at the box. Luckily for his pride, Shizuo nudged the dish closer before Izaya's control could snap. He stared at it for a moment, eyes wide, unable to figure out why, how--

"Simon told me. Your favorite, right?"

The brunet glanced up, and Izaya wished he could ask why Shizuo had done this for him of all people. This was above and beyond anything he'd expected…

"I got sashimi, because I didn't know if you'd want the rice. Hope that's okay…" Shizuo's voice trailed off, and he unpacked his own order without another word, as though what he'd just done for Izaya was completely normal.

Throat tightening for some reason he didn't want to think about, Izaya hoped it would open enough for him to swallow his favorite dish. His divine ootoro.

As soon as his teeth closed about the first bite, he could have moaned at the richness of it, the feel of it nearly melting on his tongue. His eyes might have fluttered in delight, he might have whimpered in pleasure, but he blocked that part out. He couldn't remember it ever tasting quite this wonderful, before, and he hadn't realized just how focused he was on his food until Shizuo cleared his throat from across the table.

"Do you and the fish need some alone time?" His expression was nothing but amused, and Izaya absolutely, positively did not blush in response.

He ate the rest without looking up from the table, all too aware of Shizuo's gaze upon him.

"Yeah, you definitely owe me. Shit's expensive."

Izaya rolled his eyes, his chin dropping into one hand. He hoped his look conveyed something along the lines of, _You didn't have to buy it, you idiot._ Judging by Shizuo's laugh, he'd been fairly successful.

"I can buy whatever I want when you're the one footing the bill."

Mood somewhat lowered, Izaya nibbled at the last piece of ootoro. It shouldn't have been a surprise. Shizu-chan didn't have the money to be buying things like this, much less to be buying them for Izaya. It wasn't like it was a gift or anything.But still…the fact that the blond had thought enough to look into Izaya's favorite foods counted for something. He'd have to pay him back, soon.

This could have all been much worse. He could be stuck with Namie, for crying out loud. At least Shizuo wasn't about to take advantage of him in such a state. Rather, the brute had been doing an admirable job of…taking care of him.

Really, he was being a little unfair. Shizuo was, generally speaking, not a bad person when he wasn't in a murderous rage. The informant knew that to be true, whatever his personal bias was. It was simply that Izaya didn't see much of that side of the brute. Until recently, Izaya had always sought out ways to incite that anger, but now that he wasn't…no, Shizuo was actually quite tolerable most of the time. This could have been much, much worse.

Even if he was a catboy who couldn't talk, read or write, and if he had strange, unprecedented reactions to things, and if he was completely incapable of returning to his former way of life unless he had…had _relations_ with his mortal-enemy-turned-caretaker…

Well, now he was just depressing himself. And he was out of ootoro to make himself feel better.

With a sigh, Izaya looked up to find Shizuo watching him.

"Thinking about it?"

He took Izaya's lack of response for an affirmation.

"This could be a lot worse for you, you know."

_Yes, Shizu-chan, I know._

"I mean, I could be a complete dick like you."

_I suppose that was warranted._

"But like I said, I'm not gonna abandon you."

_You also said you weren't going to make this easy on me._

"As long as you're trying, too."

Izaya sighed. Wasn't it obvious that he was trying?

Shizuo didn't say another word about it, choosing instead to grin at the brunet and pop another piece of his own sushi dish into his mouth.

_Oh, hell. Am I paying for him, too?_

 

* * *

 

Izaya was positive he could get away with this.

Dinner had been finished, Izaya had cleaned up, and then they had returned to the sofa, settling into the same position as last night. Neither commented on it. Not that Izaya really could comment, but still…

He traced idle patterns into the muscle of Shizuo's leg, occasionally rubbing at the bones of his ankle, and the blond fell eventually asleep there.

He had almost done it then, but it would have been too risky. He didn't want the brute to think he'd given up and run away. No, he preferred to be sneaky about this.

And so he waited, waited until Shizuo finally woke, rubbing groggily at his eyes, before stumbling up and into the bedroom, leaving Izaya alone on the couch. He waited until the light finally went off. He waited until Shizuo had stopped moving around on the bed, until he was sure Shizuo was asleep again.

He didn't have a key to the apartment, so he had to leave the door open, but honestly, who would rob the brute? Surely everyone in the building knew who he was, and if it was someone else, well…

Izaya cast a look around and decided that there wasn't much to steal, anyway. The blond would be fine for a little while with the door unlocked.

Flipping up his hood and wrapping his tail about his waist and underneath his jacket, Izaya crept out the door.

Once he'd hit the street outside, he was just another passerby, drifting along much too late at night. But that was best. He wanted as little contact with other people as possible. He wasn't much for conversation, at the moment, and there were some things he simply did not want known.

It didn't take him long to find an ATM.

He stared at it, for a moment. Like he was facing down an enemy. He couldn't read. And unless he could remember the exact placement of the buttons, the exact prompts displayed on the screen, he could end up fucking this all up. But it was his only option. He couldn't very well go to the bank during working hours and try to withdraw money when he was unable to read, write, or speak.

No, it was better to take his chances out here.

He stepped up slowly, rifling through his slim wallet to pull out his bank card. Finding the slot was easy enough.

This screen should be asking him for his code. Number pad. Number pads were all the same. He could do this.

Sighing with relief when the screen flashed in what appeared to be confirmation, he tried to figure out what it was asking him next. Closing his eyes, he imagined it. They were all the same, right? So it should be…

He pressed a button, hoping that the next screen was asking him how much he wanted to withdraw.

It took him a little bit longer to decide how much he should pay the beast, exactly.

…he should probably stop thinking of Shizuo like that.

He debated giving him a hundred thousand yen. Surely that would be enough to cover rent and food and any sort of personal trials he was putting the blond through. But perhaps a larger gift would convince Shizuo of his willingness to see this thing to the end. His willingness to try.

It might also backfire and make him feel used and upset, but Izaya was hoping for the former.

In the end, he decided to err on the side of too much rather than too little. Quickly pressing the button next to the red square that hopefully read "eject card" or "end transaction," he visibly relaxed when the machine did what he wanted it to do and ejected a sizable number of bills. But looking down, he realized that he couldn't really check exactly how much he'd withdrawn. He guessed that he'd find out when Shizuo counted it.

Moving quickly, he returned to Shizuo's apartment with no trouble at all and was slightly disturbed to find that it felt like coming home. And he hadn't even been gone all that long. As soon as he opened the door, it was like the place pulled him in with a comforting heat. It made him want to curl up under the bed and--

Izaya shook himself out of it.

Removing his shoes by the door, he was almost frightened out of his skin to find the blond waiting up for him, silently staring from his seat on the sofa.

"I thought you'd left."

The light from outside had cast his expression into shadow, and so Izaya couldn't see just how irate he was until Shizuo stood and walked over slowly, each step making Izaya shrink a little bit more.

"I thought I heard the door shut, and when I got up to look, you'd gone." He gave Izaya a look that made the brunet feel like he needed to pull his hood down further, needed to hide. "But you're back, so I guess you didn't turn tail and run. What's so important that you had to leave in the middle of the night and leave the door unlocked?"

This was absurd. He was a full-grown adult. He could certainly decide when to stay and when to go. And he'd been out for Shizuo's own benefit!

It was the blond's apartment, however, and Izaya was…trying to be a good house guest.

Slinking over, still hooded, Izaya reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the small stack of bills. He held them out to the blond, waving them a bit when the bea-- when the man didn't take them immediately. But then Shizuo's fingers brushed his, then the money was gone, and Izaya was still trying to wrap his head around thinking of the blond as…as human.

Ugh.

There was silence while Shizuo contemplated the money, thumbing through it for long moments that made Izaya shift uncomfortably. He couldn't decide if he'd rather there were a light on so that he could see whatever was passing through Shizuo's eyes or if he was happy for the cover of darkness. Maybe it meant that Shizuo couldn't see his emotions, either.

With a sigh, Shizuo turned and headed toward the kitchen table, and Izaya followed somewhat miserably.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

The blond sat heavily in a chair and placed the stack neatly on the table, turning to face Izaya who stood much too far away. He ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the brunet, thinking.

"Izaya…" He made a small gesture, and the informant found himself shuffling forward. "Do you know how much money this is?"

Cheeks heating up, Izaya shook his head, embarrassed at his complete inability to succeed at the smallest of tasks. Of course he didn't know. He couldn't fucking read! How would he--

"This is five hundred thousand yen."

Izaya blinked. Well, it could have been worse…

"I'm sure it's not a lot for you, but I don't have money like this to just throw around." There was another pause, and Izaya tried to figure out exactly what the problem was. "Did you mean to give me this much?"

_To be honest_ … Izaya shrugged.

That was not the correct answer, apparently, and Shizuo's look darkened. Izaya could tell even in the dim light.

"You didn't know, and you don't even care." Shifting, the blond's gaze moved to the ceiling. "I told you to pay me for rent, food, stuff like that. It's only been a few days. How in the hell is this--" Shizuo paused and took in a slow breath. "I can't take this. Even from you, flea."

Izaya's eyes widened, fixing upon Shizuo's hands, watching him slide a few bills off the top and hand the majority of the stack back. Izaya didn't move, still frozen in confusion. Shizuo glared and stood, strong hands pressing the money into Izaya's chest. The brunet blinked down, then back up.

"Take it. I already said I'd help you. What the hell are you bribing me for!?" The taller man's face was twisted into a snarl, and Izaya trembled.

But slender hands rose to wrap around Shizuo's own, using the blond's confused compliance to push the notes gently back toward him.

"What is this really for? What more do you want from me?" His voice was low and dangerous, and the brunet had no idea how he'd messed up quite this badly… But then, he'd never been able to predict Shizuo.

"You already had my word. You can't fucking buy me, Izaya."

He stormed off, then, slamming the bedroom door behind him as loudly as he could without breaking the thing from its hinges.

Izaya was left in the midst of fluttering bills, watching whatever good intentions he'd had rain down around him. And like he was standing somewhere far away, he watched himself kneel on the floor to collect all of them. Every single one. He watched himself pile them carefully on the table. He watched…no. No, that was him. Those were his eyes that were burning for reasons he didn't understand.

And so, at a complete loss for what else to do, he left the money there and dragged himself to the couch, where he curled into a ball and tried to figure out what on earth had just happened.

He was asleep before the sun had risen, completely unaware of the dried salt tracks trailing down the side of his face, completely unaware of the blond that showered and dressed and skipped breakfast just so he could leave the apartment that much faster, completely unaware of the way the man's eyes roved over him just once before he stepped out the door, closing it and locking it behind him.

 

* * *

 

Izaya slept for what felt like forever.

He woke sometime in the afternoon and dragged himself off the cushions, not feeling much like eating anything. Having little idea what else to do with himself, he ended up in the bathroom, the fingers of one hand trailing through the water in the slowly-filling bathtub. Climbing in before it was full, he laid down and kept himself back from the spray of the faucet.

Too bad Shizuo didn't have any bubble bath.

Izaya turned off the water with one foot and relaxed, letting his thoughts wander.

How was he going to clear this all up?

Half an hour later, he still hadn't come up with any brilliant ideas, so he dunked himself underwater and set to washing his pruning skin in earnest. Arms and legs and hair and…tail. He still wasn't used to it. It felt…foreign, but not, and he flicked it through the now sweet-smelling water.

Did Shizuo have any kind of bath products that didn't smell like food? Really, everything was vanilla this or fruity that… It was like sharing a bathroom with a girl.

Izaya giggled a little, imaging Shizuo as a girl. She would still be tall and angry, but maybe she would at least be pretty to look at? It wasn't like Shizuo was…hard on the eyes. It was more his atrocious temper and lack of anything resembling intelligence--

Somewhere inside, Izaya knew that he was being unfair, and he grudgingly acknowledged this. Shizuo had been more of a help to him than Izaya had been to himself. He gave the blond credit for that.

Slightly annoyed now that his normal rantings about the protozoan had been dulled, he pulled the drain and stepped out. Wrapped in a towel, Izaya looked down at the pile of clothes on the floor. He didn't really want to put them back on, seeing as how he'd gone through the trouble of cleaning himself and it seemed like a waste. Maybe Shizuo wouldn't mind loaning him some new ones? But the blond was currently…not very happy. He couldn't very well sit around in a towel, though.

With a sigh, Izaya decided to try rifling through Shizuo's bedroom on the chance that he could find his old clothes. Shizuo had said he would wash them, after all.

After opening the closet door, along with the drawers of the one dresser, Izaya huffed and sat on Shizuo's bed, somewhat surprised to learn that the blond actually owned other outfits. But he still couldn't locate his own clothing.

His ears pricked at the sound of the lock turning.

_Crap! Crap, crap, crap!_

Izaya flushed and looked down at the fluffy towel. He had wrapped it high around his chest, like he had something to hide. If he was going to be seen in a towel…at least it would be a manly towel. For what it was worth.

He had just enough time to scramble up and knot the fabric around his waist instead before the door swung open, the telltale growling of Shizuo's anger filtering through the open doorway. Taking a deep breath, Izaya steeled himself. On the bright side, at least he looked hot in a towel.

…that's what he told himself, anyway.

All hopes of Shizuo's time away being a chance for the bea--the man to calm down were thoroughly dashed when his hulking form appeared in front of Izaya.

"What the hell, flea!? Why are you in my bedroom!?" He snarled and stalked forward, but Izaya knew how this one went.

Quelling the urge to scrunch his eyes shut in terror - and thereby run at Shizuo blindly - he launched himself forward and into the blond's arms.

…or, it would have been into his arms, had it been any sort of romantic endeavor. In actuality, it was more like Izaya clung to Shizuo's waist in a desperate plea, while the other man was shocked into stillness by the sudden attachment of a slightly damp, cat-eared informant.

When Shizuo failed to move for another few seconds, Izaya nuzzled into the blond's chest, hoping, hoping, hoping that this still worked.

And Shizuo's breathing slowed.

His heart rate fell.

His arms came up around the other man.

His chin came to rest on top of Izaya's head.

And in moments, all was calm.

"…what the hell, flea?"

Izaya sighed in relief at the tone, now much closer to a question than an outburst, and he tilted his head back to blink upward, his expression still guarded, in the event that Shizuo remembered that he was angry - at Izaya, this time - and exploded again.

"First thing. Why are you in a towel?"

Cocking his head, the brunet pointed to the bathroom, as though it were obvious.

"Oh. Oh, yeah." Shizuo pulled back, leaving Izaya shivering for a moment, and went to rifle through his drawers. "You can have these."

The pants were a dark red, this time, and the shirt…didn't have a hood. It was a simple black thing, washed and worn and very soft. But it didn't have a hood. Izaya grabbed them nevertheless and ducked quickly into the bathroom to change, slipping on the old top from before over everything. Shizuo would have to put up with him being disgusting until he could find his own jacket.

The blond tilted his head at him when he emerged, breath releasing in a hum of realization. "You don't have to-- Hold on."

The next item of clothing passed to him was a black…scarf? A scarf with a hood? Who the hell owned a scarf with a hood?

His expression must have held a decent amount of shock, because Shizuo sighed and crossed his arms. "Just give me that, okay? I really will do laundry, this time."

Izaya's brain was still boggled by the fact that Shizuo would own something so trendy and…un-boring, and he stripped the top off and handed it over, wrapping the scarf around his neck.

"About that money." His voice was low, again, but not angry. That was good. "I told you I'd help you. Is that not enough for you?"

_Is this about…about Shizu-chan's honor or something?_

Shaking his head, Izaya gestured for the blond to follow him. He had to make him understand, somehow, without words… His step was light when he padded into the kitchen, and though he didn't really want to, he dove into the trash can, rifling through the stuff on top to get to their takeaway containers from last night. He brought them up in front of him, hoping Shizuo would understand.

"What, you're making dinner requests?"

Izaya shook his head violently, ears whipping through the air, and he pointed to the money on the table, then back to the containers in his hand.

One hand came up to rub at the bridge of Shizuo's nose. "Izaya…put those down. I get that you want to pay me back. But what's the rest of it for?"

The brunet sighed and replaced the containers, running to the sink to wash his hands quickly. What was he supposed to say? What was he supposed to do?

He turned to face the now-seated blond, pointing at his throat and mewing, trying to remind him that, _No, I still can't speak, you idiot._ At Shizuo's nonplussed look, he stalked over to the man, plopping himself down in his lap, grabbing the unmoved stack of bills, and pushing them into the man's chest with the biggest, wateriest eyes he could manage.

Shizuo stared at him.

Izaya began to squirm and wish he hadn't straddled the blond's lap. That had been a poor decision.

And finally, Shizuo's hand came up to cover his own. "Are you trying to get anything more from me than I already said I'd do?"

Izaya shook his head.

"This is seriously you paying me back? And that's it?"

Izaya nodded.

Shizuo sighed. "Then here's what we're gonna do. I'll take this," he fished out some of the bills, "for now, and when you're back to whatever normal is, I'll take the rest. Deal?"

The brunet's shoulders slumped, but he nodded again. It was probably the best outcome he could have expected, after all.

"Good." And then Shizuo was pushing him off and laying the two piles of currency on the table and tugging him into the living room and--what?

Izaya squeaked, and the blond turned back to smirk at him. "Seems like you're good for something, after all. I had a shit day. But you, like this, you calm me down. So that's what you're going to do."

Izaya bristled a little as he was essentially forced onto the couch, smashed up against Shizuo like he had no say in the matter.

And really, he didn't. He supposed he should be happy, though, that Shizuo had found a use for him. At least he didn't have to search for one, anymore.

The blond held him pinned on his side, their fronts touching in places, an arm curled over him in a mockery of what a couple's cuddle might look like. Were one of them not using the other as an anger management tool. Were the other not using him as an antidote in return.

Shizuo did not turn on the television. He did not grab a book to read. He didn't even talk. They simply laid there, one of Shizuo's hands stroking slowly up and down Izaya's spine, the other serving as a pillow for his head.

If he had to be honest about it, Izaya would admit that, while it was definitely awkward to be sharing a couch for snuggle times with your (usual? former?) mortal enemy, it wasn't…completely miserable, in actuality. Shizuo's hands were gentle and calming, even though Izaya was supposed to be the one doing the calming. And the blond smelled good, underneath the scent of cigarette smoke. But that was largely intwined in his clothing and hair. He'd probably smell much better just out of the shower…

Izaya squeezed his eyes shut as if to destroy that train of thought, pinning his ears back and tensing with the effort. In response to the sudden change, Shizuo's hand drifted up, and those fingers scratched at the base of his ears, and oh--

Izaya melted, a quiet purr rumbling in his throat.

The blond didn't stop moving. Rather, he scratched around the informant's ears, rubbed at the base of his skull, tugged softly at his hair. Izaya's eyes had long since closed in pleasure, and he mewled a little as he shifted closer to the other man, closer to that delicious sensation.

He drifted along, lost so deeply in the feeling of it that he forgot where he was, with whom he was sharing the narrow space, why he was even there in the first place. He hung in that balance between awareness and slumber. There was a moment where he felt himself moved, rolled, lifted, and his face scrunched in annoyance, but then that same, solid presence was there the entire time, so the whole ordeal wasn't too bad.

When the world stopped moving, he was lying upon something soft. Something soft and smooth. He purred a little at the new sensation before his warmth left him completely. Ears and tail twitching, he struggled to surface from the haze into which he'd fallen, and bleary eyes slid open to a dark room. They flicked about without focusing, his eyelids still heavy, and his brain tried and failed to keep up with the incoming images.

He mewed in distress, and then his field of vision was overrun by a halo of golden hair. That warm body settled against him again, and Izaya curled into it, immensely pleased by the soft skin against his cheek. And then he was being shifted again, and the surface beneath him was tugged away, but he didn't much care because that warmth was still with him.

In the end, he was covered in soft sheets, wrapped in strong arms, pressed close to a chest that rose and fell with calming breaths and a steady heartbeat that lulled him deeper into sleep.

Izaya went willingly.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Izaya realized upon waking up was that he wasn't on the couch.

The second thing he realized was that he wasn't alone.

Hazy scarlet eyes opened to find Shizuo lying…not even across from him. Lying _around_ him, if Izaya had to fit a preposition to it.

The blond's face nearly filled his vision, and when Izaya tried to wriggle free, the strong arm wrapped about his waist tightened, and Shizuo sighed in his sleep. If Shizuo didn't want to let him go, then Izaya wasn't going anywhere. So he sighed and relaxed in the hold. If he was going to be stuck here, he might as well make himself comfortable. Come to think of it, he was rather surprised Shizuo hadn't squashed him in the night. Did the man have some kind of control over his strength in sleep? Enough to not potentially kill a bedmate?

Now he was thinking about the blond having sex and what if it had been in this bed and ew--

…this did not bode well for being cured.

Huffing, the informant tried to analyze Shizuo without succumbing to his bias.

Shizuo was warm. That made him happy. Not that people in general weren't warm - assuming they were alive, at least - but Shizuo was…solid. Solid and strong and…safe. The adjective surprised Izaya, since Shizuo spent most of his time rampaging through town. Why on earth would he consider the man safe?

Izaya glared at Shizuo's chest - the part most in his line of vision. Damn curse.

He started when gentle fingers began to rub through his hair. What was the man dreaming--

_Oh, no…_

The brunet's body relaxed, curling into the other's form, eyelids fluttering at half-mast.

This was really incredibly inconvenient.

Shizuo awoke to a softly purring Izaya, caged in his arms so completely that he couldn't blame the other for not having moved. He could feel the informant's tail twitch against his leg every now and then, the other man's hot breath wafting across his collarbones.

"Are you awake?"

Izaya heaved a great sigh, and the blond pulled far enough away that he could look into the other's eyes. Izaya looked peeved, yes, but he also looked far too content and comfortable to do anything about it. Shizuo's fingers were still rubbing at his scalp, and he grinned and scratched lightly.

"You like that?"

The brunet's jaw dropped in shock, astonishment crossing his face at the implication.

Shizuo only laughed. "Yeah, you're definitely better like this." And then he let go and rolled away onto his back.

Izaya meowed in complaint, reaching out for the other man…and then his eyes went wide and one hand clapped over his mouth. He'd just been _so_ comfortable, and then that dumb beast had to go and ruin it all of a sudden by--

"I'm just gonna shower. Think you can live without me for that long?"

He would have tried to scratch that smile right off the man's face, if he'd known he could get away with it. As it was, he simply rolled onto his other side, away from the blond, and he took the covers with him.

Seeing as he'd been getting up anyway, Shizuo didn't much mind, though he did find humor in running his hand down Izaya's back one last time, stroking along his spine and pulling that soft tail through his fingers where it stuck out from beneath the sheets. When Izaya refused to react beyond pinning his ears, Shizuo grinned again and rose, dragging himself into the bathroom with a groaning stretch.

"If you don't have any more complaints…"

Izaya, meanwhile, was frozen on the bed, hands twisted into the blankets as if they could make sense of all this.

The brute had touched his tail.

And it had felt good.

Really, really good.

…stupid perverted catboy-things.

 

* * *

 

"Izaya-kuuuuun…"

Izaya drifted within the darkness of sleep, his body unmoving on the bed, save for his slow, heavy breaths.

"Izaya!"

_Who…are you?_

"You know exactly who I am! What on earth is taking you so long!?"

_So long… So long to do what?_

It sounded like the voice sighed. "To change yourself back. You want to be human again, don't you?"

_Of course I do!_

"Then why haven't you two fucked each other's brains out, yet?"

_I don't…what? Why would we!?_

"Oh, come on. I told you that you needed to have sex with him to get back to normal. So why haven't you?"

Izaya's heart dropped upon hearing it put into words. He'd been nearly certain that that was what she had meant by "intimacy," but to hear it said...

_I can't… He can't… We can't just do things like that!_

"Why not? I'm sure he'd be willing."

_You don't know that!_

"Don't I?"

_You… But what if I'm not!? I'm not having sex with him!_

"Lies. You'll want your old self back soon enough."

_But I don't want to have sex with him…_

Even Izaya thought he sounded like he was whining.

"Why not?"

_Because I don't even like him!_

"That's not completely true, either. And what if he already likes you?"

_But he doesn't! He wouldn't! We hate each other!_

"Why are you so stubborn!? Ugh, you're impossible."

Izaya was silent, stewing in the darkness, and the voice sighed again, its tone gentling.

"You're going to be romantic about this, aren't you?"

_What do you mean?_

"It's adorable, but it looks like I'll have to put some more pressure on you. I never thought you two would hold out so long, and I don't think he did, either."

_More pressure… What are you doing? Who is "he?" What the hell is going on? What do you want from me!?_

There was no answer from her.

Instead, there was a great clap of thunder, and Izaya sprung awake to the sound of rain pouring down outside. The room around him had grown dark from the storm, and the sheets next to him were cold.

Where was Shizu-chan? Had he left for work, already?

Izaya's nerves were tingling, his tail puffed, and he tried to smooth it down, getting his bearings at the same time.

Shizuo wasn't here, but it couldn't be that late in the day, could it? The dark sky outside was of little help. But it was certainly possible that Shizuo was simply at work.

Leaving Izaya…alone.

The room lit up in a bright flash of lighting that banished the shadows, and Izaya turned to look out the window. And then the thunder sounded again and his breath caught. And he suddenly wanted very, very much to be anywhere else.

Surely this wasn't her doing, was it? Surely she didn't have that kind of power… Nevermind what she'd done to him. What she'd turned him into. That wasn't… No one could control the weather! (He ignored the part of his brain that told him that no one could turn someone into a catboy, either.) This was all some crazy coincidence and not a ploy to get him into Shizuo's pants. He didn't need the blond. He could take care of himself.

Izaya tugged the covers over his head, curling into a ball on the bed, but he could still see the room light up on the other side of the fabric. He could still hear the rain, the wind, the storm. So he dragged the covers off the mattress and dove underneath, crawling on his stomach to squeeze into the tight space. Even though he told himself over and over that it was just rain, that there was nothing to be afraid of, his tail refused to un-poof. He continued to shake and shiver, and he wrapped the sheets more tightly around himself, closing his eyes and hoping it would all go away.

…where was Shizu-chan?

Time passed, and Shizuo came home to what appeared to be an empty apartment. He checked the kitchen, stuck his head into the bathroom, then stood in the middle of his bedroom in bewilderment. The sheets were missing, along with the informant.

"Izaya?"

He wandered through the rooms again, just to be sure, and when he ended up right back where he started, he sat on the bed with a heavy sigh.

Maybe, in the short time he'd been gone, the informant had run off, again? Glancing out the window, he rather hoped not, the weather being what it was. He was…growing fond of the other man, which was perhaps not the most intelligent thing he'd ever done. Without his vicious barbs and the threat of that switchblade, however, when Izaya was actually trying to be tolerable, he wasn't all that bad.

Shizuo held a small hope that maybe things would stay this way, even after the brunet was normal again. Maybe he would change for good. For the better.

While Shizuo wanted to believe in miracles, well…he wasn't going to be delusional about it. But surely there was no harm in trying. He'd be doing the world a favor. Besides, treating Izaya harshly in this state was a lot like kicking a kitten. And that was just sad.

He leaned back, sprawling across the fitted sheet in his shirt and jeans, watching the rain come down outside.

"Where the hell are you, flea?"

Up from beneath the bed came a plaintive, wavering mewl, and Shizuo sat up instantly, staring down at the mattress as though he could see through it.

"…Izaya?"

He didn't know who else it could possibly be, but he wasn't expecting the brunet to be in hiding. And if he'd replied to Shizuo's question, then he probably wasn't hiding from him. So…

Shizuo crawled off the bed and dropped to his knees and elbows, but when he looked under, all he could really see was a mass of blankets. That explained where those had gone, at least.

"What are you doing under there?"

Izaya mewed miserably, poking his head out just far enough to eye the other man. Thunder crashed again, and Izaya drew back into his blanket nest. Shizuo fought the urge to laugh.

It would be mean.

He also would have a very angry kitty on his hands. A kitty with new, sharp nails. Not that Izaya was much of a danger, but he would still rather avoid them, if possible.

So with his teeth biting at his tongue, the blond slid onto his belly and sidled underneath the bed, too.

"Izaya?"

Izaya started at the nearby voice - or rather, the mass of blankets started at the nearby voice - and Shizuo tried to sort them out enough to at least find the informant's head. Soft black ears led to a thick mop of hair and wide, scarlet eyes.

It would be pointless to ask him why he was under the bed again. Shizuo knew that now. It would also be pointless to tell the man it was only rain. Izaya knew that.

So the only thing left to do…

Shizuo huddled a little closer, and when he couldn't really put his arm around the informant, he reached for the man's hand through the blankets. After a few moments of this, during which both parties were frozen in place, Izaya mewed and did his best to inch closer, fighting against the blankets when they bunched up in his way.

"What do you say we get back on top of the bed?"

Izaya's eyes grew impossibly large.

"I'll be with you the whole time, even. But it's kinda cramped and uncomfortable under here."

After a second's hesitation, Shizuo felt the brunet squeeze his hand, and that was all the agreement he needed to justify dragging the man out, the accompanying yowl ringing in his ears. Izaya remained huddled on the floor as Shizuo stood, the brunet seemingly immovable in the face of the storm, and his whole body itched to be back within that small, safe space.

And then Shizuo's arms were around him, picking him up and hauling him toward the mattress, sheets in tow, and when Izaya's body tensed, Shizuo's hold left him, and the taller man lay down on the bed.

"Come on." Holding one arm aloft, he beckoned to the other man.

It took only one lightning strike for Izaya to find his way onto the bed, and Shizuo wrapped them both up in the rumpled blankets. Izaya found himself once again in a small, safe space, but this time, it was warm. And strong. And he closed his eyes while the storm raged on outside, content within the shelter of Shizuo's arms...

"Y'know, I was only doing laundry."

Izaya wasn't sure how long they'd been lying there, but the storm was showing no signs of letting up. He huffed a little to indicate that he'd heard the blond and wasn't asleep.

"It's just downstairs. Not that far."

_If he's thinking…thinking he's going to leave me up here…_

Izaya's body tensed in Shizuo's hold, and sharp nails dug into his shirt, careful not to nick skin but clinging tightly to the fabric.

"You could come with, if you want. I just don't want to leave our stuff down there."

Oh. So the brute had been doing laundry like he said he would.

Izaya blamed the storm for the leg he threw over the blond's waist, curling as close as possible in an effort to convince the man not to move, not to leave the safety of the bed, not to leave him.

"Come on. I'll be with you the whole time."

And then Shizuo was standing, and Izaya was coming with by default, latched onto the other man as he was. He hissed as the blond rose, wrapping his other leg around that trim waist so as not to fall. He needn't have worried, though. Shizuo had placed a strong arm at his back, keeping him aloft.

"D'you want me to carry you the whole way?" An eyebrow cocked, and that smirk was back. Teasing.

Izaya growled softly and squirmed his way down, shuddering when his feet hit the ground, ears still pinned as he tried to block out the noise from outside. The hood went up, too, the fabric soft and warm against his throat.

The blond looked down at him, standing there miserably, and then he smiled. Long fingers wound tentatively with his own, silently asking if this was okay, if this was what Izaya wanted. The thunder quickly made up his mind, and his hand tightened around Shizuo's. Without asking twice, Shizuo turned and dragged the brunet behind him, grabbing his laundry bag from the table as they left.

Izaya looked at the carpet as they walked down the hall to the stairs, focused on the strength of Shizuo's hand, tried to ignore the increased volume of the storm as they descended to what must have been the ground floor. He swore he could feel the rumbling of the walls, the vibration of the rain, and he mewed just a little, despite his attempts not to.

To his credit, Shizuo didn't comment on it, merely leading the brunet into the laundry room which was thankfully devoid of any other residents. Letting his hand go so that he could take things out of the dryer, Shizuo stuffed everything haphazardly into the bag. He could always iron later, and this would be just fine for the trip upstairs.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention, and Izaya jerked where he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, inching closer to Shizuo.

It was an elderly woman, and she looked at them only briefly, a smile gracing her features.

"It's about time you found a sweet girl who could calm you down."

Izaya squeaked and tried to hide behind the blond, but Shizuo only chuckled at the truth in the statement.

"Yeah, we're working on that. Please pardon her, though. She's really shy and not very good at meeting new people."

The woman only continued to smile at him, and being unsure of what else to do, Izaya bowed a bit, feeling slightly awkward.

Laundry thankfully done, Shizuo turned to leave, reaching his hand out to Izaya. With more than a little hesitation, he took it, giving the woman a watery smile when she cooed at them and bowing his head again before he was pulled out the door.

The blond didn't mention the exchange as they climbed the stairs again. He didn't mention it when Izaya squeezed his hand a little harder when the thunder hit. He didn't mention it when they stepped into his apartment and he led the pair of them into the bedroom, leaving Izaya in order to scatter the fresh laundry on his bed and set to folding and sorting it.

Izaya barely suppressed the urge to lie in it.

And then the thunder rolled again, and Izaya clambered onto the bed, fingers tangling in the scarf because they itched to tangle with Shizuo's own.

It was a poor substitute.

Shizuo tossed Izaya's clothes his way when he came across them, and the brunet folded the garments carefully, watching as Shizuo went back and forth across the room, putting things away.

The rain seemed to be letting up a bit, but Izaya still wanted to be as close to the blond as possible. It was a new feeling for him. He'd spent so much time running away from Shizuo that the thought of wanting to be…to be held by him was bewildering.

To be held…

Surely bubbles and sparkles were floating around in the air.

This whole thing must be some fangirl's idea of a joke. For him to be yearning so much just to hold the blond's hand, for him to find such comfort and safety within his arms where before he would have cut the man to pieces lest he be crushed to bits, himself…

It was absurd.

And yet, telling himself that didn't lessen the desire.

He must have had an intense scowl on his face, because Shizuo suddenly sat down hard in front of him.

"You okay?"

Izaya huffed and glared up. Did he look okay? His tail was still all stupid and poofy. Shizuo's hand dropped to his head, pushing the hood back, and Izaya was about to protest until Shizuo began rubbing lightly.

He leaned into it, pouting as he did so.

This was so unlike him, and it pissed him off. But he couldn't summon the same hatred he used to harbor for the blond. He'd somehow gone from working to be nicer to the man to being unable to be mean. It wasn't quite the same thing, and now he couldn't seem to slip backwards. At this rate, they'd end up becoming…closer.

He shuddered at the thought.

Shizuo must have assumed it was from the rain, because he was suddenly wrapped in the blond's arms, head tucked under his chin, pulled onto the man's lap. Somewhat confused, and though he continued to pout, Izaya couldn't make himself pull away.

"Wanna eat something? Late lunch? Early dinner?"

Turning just enough to peek at the bedspread, Izaya realized that Shizuo had finished with laundry while he'd been musing. Looking again to the window, he thought that it might be safe to venture away from the bed, at this point. His tentative confidence didn't stop him from holding Shizuo's hand as they left the bedroom, however.

He dug in the cabinet for a can of something or other, as usual, and his eyes followed the other man as he made a sandwich. While the sky was still grey and the rain continued to pour, at least the thunder was further away, and Izaya was able to remain in his chair for the duration of the meal.

More than once, he caught his eyes drifting not to Shizuo's face, but to his food. His not-fishy food. Izaya was tempted to try eating something else, but after that last experience, he didn't really want a repeat. Even if eating only fish for days on end was getting rather old. And so he continued to dig grilled eel out from the tin with an air of resignation, expression downturned.

"I was gonna clean today, but now that it's all rainy, I'd rather not."

Izaya's ears twitched, and he looked up in the middle of licking one sharp nail, wondering where Shizuo was going with this.

"Rain is movie weather."

Had he been able, Izaya would have giggled, mood lifting at the juvenile suggestion. It was so normal. Normal for anyone who wasn't them. In lieu of said giggle, he gave the blond a small smile and nodded.

A movie inside sounded…nice.

It also sounded very much like a…date.

Izaya cleaned up after their meal, as he was used to doing, and wandered into the living room once he'd finished.

Shizuo was draped over the couch, long limbs taking up all available space, the DVD already running through previews. The brunet sidled over, and he'd only just begun to bend his knees when Shizuo grabbed his hand.

"Lay up here with me."

Izaya swallowed, allowing himself to be tugged and positioned until the blond was happy with him. It made sense that they both needed to be facing the television, but having his back pressed to Shizuo's front was nothing short of unnerving.

"Comfortable?" His breath wafted against the back of Izaya's neck, heating his skin even though the fabric covering it.

Or maybe that was just the blush.

Forcing his apparent schoolgirl tendencies to calm down, Izaya giggled a little on the inside when the picture started. It was something cute and animated. And somehow…it fit. As time went on, his smile began to fall, and not long into the film, he'd decided that it was not a good date movie at all. The man's wife had just died, and their hopes and dreams had been for nothing, and he was about to turn and glare at the blond when the arm around his waist tightened.

"Keep watching."

With a huff, Izaya stilled, his earlier frown soon remedied.

The movie continued, and Izaya tried to remain focused upon it.

Not on the way Shizuo's exhales continued to send goosebumps down his arms.

Not on the way Shizuo's clothes brushing against his tail made him shiver.

Not on the way Shizuo's hand had started toying with the hem of his shirt.

When those fingers hit skin, it was all he could do to remain still and remember to breathe.

Stroking lightly over one hip bone, over the skin of his waist, his belly…

Izaya wasn't entirely sure what the movie was about, anymore. There was something about a dog and a brightly colored bird and they were walking a house suspended by balloons…

He closed his eyes and worked on slowing his breathing.

This was okay.

This was what he needed.

And hell, they weren't even doing anything. This was the kind of thing that got young teenagers all excited. Not him. Definitely not him.

What Izaya didn't see was the calculating look on Shizuo's face. He didn't hear the man's thoughts as he deliberated over where exactly to touch, and how much…

After a deep inhale, Shizuo let it out in a low moan and pulled Izaya closer. The brunet had assumed they were already as close as they could get, and he squeaked when Shizuo's nose buried itself in his hair. His ears twitched, and his eyes went wide.

On the bright side, Shizuo was no longer petting him. But this was…not much better.

They remained like that until the movie ended, and as the credits rolled, Izaya wondered when Shizuo was going to move. Minutes passed, and he eventually turned about in the blond's arms, certain that the man had fallen asleep.

But Shizuo's eyes were open, though his lids were lowered. There was a look there that Izaya couldn't quite understand. It was deeper than he was used to. There was something going on in the blond's head that made him nervous. It wasn't helped by the fact that they were now pressed front to front, Shizuo's face mere centimeters from his own, and while the arm at his back kept him from tumbling off the couch, it also kept him from drawing back to a safer distance. Shizuo analyzed him, and it was such a new and confusing experience for Izaya that he only realized he had been holding his breath when he suddenly gasped for air.

That seemed to break them free, and Shizuo smiled lazily at him.

Izaya's breath catching was a result of his prior lack of air and nothing more.

"I'm hungry. Want anything?"

The brunet didn't even have time to answer before the blond was moving, shifting, rolling over on top of him and then off. Izaya lay still on his back, heartbeat pounding in his ears as he watched Shizuo walk off into the kitchen.

There was the sound of pots and pans being moved, and by the time he'd found it in him to sit up, oil was sizzling, something was frying, and the most delicious smell was filling the air.

His mouth watered.

Tail flicking back and forth, Izaya moved into the kitchen on legs that wobbled only slightly. His prior shock and uneasiness was dulled by the growing ache in his belly, the way he could actually feel himself salivating. Shizuo didn't acknowledge him beyond a glance and a nod as Izaya sidled up next to him, his eyes focused on the little crescent-shaped dumplings sizzling gently in the pan.

Humming idly, Shizuo stepped to the sink and added a small amount of water to a cup, then placed a lid over the pan. Before sealing it, he tossed the water underneath, closing the gap quickly as the water hissed and spit.

Not unlike Izaya, who had jumped back, tail puffed once more.

Shizuo laughed quietly, mouth quirking upward, and he grabbed a plate and a small sauce dish from the cabinet.

After a few minutes, the lid was lifted to reveal the finished gyoza, shimmering with steam droplets, and Izaya licked his lips, watching hungrily as Shizuo reached in with a pair of chopsticks to pull them out and place them on a paper towel to cool.

Turning to face the shorter man, the blond gestured toward the cabinet. "Wanna pick something?"

Izaya looked to Shizuo's face, then to the gyoza, and he made a small whining noise.

"You're sure?"

Izaya nodded.

"All right, then. There's a bottle of dipping sauce in the fridge. Grab it for me." With that, Shizuo turned back to the pan and added a bit more oil.

Setting the bottle on the table, Izaya took a seat and let his eyes follow the man as he took more dumplings from the freezer and placed them carefully in the pan. When this second batch was laid out to cool, he brought the first over on its plate, handing Izaya a pair of chopsticks and filling the sauce dish.

Izaya watched Shizuo inhale three of the dumplings before reaching for one himself. He didn't doubt the blond's cooking. He doubted himself. He was reluctant to try it for fear that it would taste like ash. For fear that he hadn't made any progress at all. For fear that--

… _oh, my._

The first bite sent wonderful, amazing juices flowing into his mouth, and he chewed slowly, savoring and hoping that this wasn't a dream. The second half of the dumpling was just as delicious as the first, and he mewled in pleasure, eyes closing as his tongue chased around every trace of flavor it could find.

And when he looked up again, Shizuo was completely unsurprised. Rather, the blond looked…satisfied, and he rose to grab the second plate, setting it in between them as he had the first.

"Good?"

Izaya nodded ardently while reaching for another crescent, nipping the tip off so that the insides could absorb the sauce.

The rest of the meal was silent, with Shizuo glancing occasionally at Izaya while Izaya focused whole-heartedly upon his food, both because he was ecstatic to find something besides tinned fish appetizing and because he didn't want to see that look on Shizuo's face. He didn't know what to make of it.

Second plate emptied, Izaya didn't even have time to whine for more before Shizuo was at the stove again.

Blinking and licking his lips, Izaya wondered.

When he'd finally eaten his fill, the brunet found Shizuo finished and waiting in his chair across the table, and without another word, he stood and wandered off to the bedroom.

It wasn't until he heard the shower turn on that Izaya realized he was supposed to be cleaning up.

Dishes done, Izaya had settled himself onto the couch for the night and was just drifting off when Shizuo entered the living room, startling him awake once again. Kneeling in front of him, the blond simply stared for a moment, and Izaya stared back, wondering what Shizuo was looking for.

And then he wondered a little less and admired a little more. The way the man no longer reeked of smoke but smelled more like…trees. And something soft. Or maybe that was just the way his towel-dried hair clung slightly-damp to his skin. To skin that led to bare shoulders because Shizuo wasn't wearing a shirt and why wasn't he wearing a shirt--

"Come sleep with me."

Izaya nearly swallowed his tongue, but he took the taller man's hand and followed willingly, trying to quell his nerves and prepare himself for whatever Shizuo was about to do.

This was what he needed, wasn't it?

Letting Izaya's hand go, Shizuo threw back the covers and climbed in, glaring half-heartedly at Izaya when he didn't do the same.

"C'mon. In."

Izaya mewed and clenched his eyes shut, as though doing so would make this easier. Instead, all it did was make getting into bed a little more awkward, and Shizuo's strong hands tugged him down and close to the man's side, an arm going up around his waist as soon as Shizuo had finished stretching to turn off the bedside lamp. Izaya trembled in Shizuo's arms, wondering what he was supposed to do, now. But the blond only sighed into dark hair, his hand rubbing at Izaya's lower back.

"Calm down, 's just me. Sleep."

And when time passed, when it looked like Shizuo really had nothing else planned except for sleeping, Izaya let himself slowly relax. His body melted against the other's of its own accord, and he nuzzled into the blond's neck, smiling when the gesture made Shizuo twitch. His stomach fluttered, and he chased the possible reasons why out of his head in favor of focusing upon the solid heartbeat thumping in time with his own.


	4. Days 7-8

Izaya woke to the smell of pancakes. His nose and ears twitched, and he stretched languidly on the bed, not bothered by the fact that he was alone. The apartment smelled of food. Clearly, Shizuo was the one making it.

It wasn't until his tail flicked in the air that he noticed something was off. Daring a glance behind him, his eyes widened, and he tore into the kitchen at an alarming speed.

Shizuo turned when Izaya skidded in, panting and staring at the blond with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"What?"

Izaya reached behind him and grabbed his tail, pulling it forward and pointing at the red ribbon fastened to the tip of it, his mouth set in a thin line.

Shizuo only laughed. "You don't like it? It was either a bow or a collar. I think you got off easy."

Izaya's tail flicked angrily, though he didn't make a move to untie the ribbon, and he waited for the blond to elaborate.

"Do you know what day it is?"

The brunet blinked, not expecting that question, and his head tilted. _Is today a special day? It's not his birthday or anything, is it? Because there is no way in hell that I'm being his…his present._

"It's day seven. You passed. You can stay until we find a way to fix you."

Izaya's jaw dropped. Over the past few days, he'd somehow forgotten that he was supposed to be proving himself useful. He certainly hadn't done much to warrant this, though…

"And since you're gonna be staying here, I figured you should have something that shows you live here or something. Like an ID tag so no one thinks you're a stray." Shizuo smirked. "I guess, if you'd prefer the collar, though…"

Frowning, Izaya slumped away and sat hard at the table, and Shizuo went back to making breakfast, smiling the whole time. Izaya looked down at the bow, bringing his tail into his lap so that he could see it better. It wasn't too bad, he supposed. Embarrassing, but if this was the trade-off, then he could deal with it.

Leaning his head back on the chair, Izaya slouched and watched the blond with half-lidded eyes as he poured batter, the cakes rising in delicious-looking puffs. Plates were brought to the table with no more comment, one for each of them, and Izaya dug in gratefully.

Shizuo watched him, and Izaya tried to ignore it, but after several minutes, he swallowed and looked up with a sigh. Shizuo rested his chin in his hand, staring until Izaya meowed in annoyance and confusion.

"You need to have sex with me, right?"

Izaya was glad that he wasn't currently eating, else he would have choked. As it was, he nearly swallowed his tongue.

"You get better when I touch you. When I'm nice to you. When we act all…couple-y. You noticed that, right?"

Izaya didn't say anything, but slumped further in his chair.

"That's what it is, isn't it? You get better the more we do. So it makes sense that we need to have sex. That's the punchline."

Shizuo saw his answer in Izaya's eyes, the man being too astonished by Shizuo's perceptiveness and bluntness to give him any sort of response. Sighing, the blond put down his fork and devoted all of his intention to the brunet.

"What I'm still trying to figure out is if this is just a physical thing, or if there's more to it. Are you attracted to me at all? Emotionally, mentally, something like that?"

Izaya inhaled his own saliva on accident, coughing and hacking while shaking his head.

_Of course I'm not, protozoan. How could I be attracted to someone like you? Much less like you. How could you even think that--_

"It must just be a physical thing, then. All right, I don't know if there're any kind of checkpoints we need to pass or anything, but if you want, I can just fuck you and be done with it, and you can be better. Is that what you want?"

Izaya flushed darkly, his mind trying to wrap around what Shizuo was saying. How had they had moved so quickly…?

"I don't mind, if that's your issue. It's not like you'd be my first, and I'd make it good for you. Besides, you're not that bad to look at." Shizuo's grin was lopsided and unabashed, and Izaya was floored by how easily the blond was talking about this. Like it was something completely normal.

_There is nothing normal about this! What is wrong with you!?_

"So…what d'you wanna do?"

After several long minutes had passed with no response from Izaya other than blinking and breathing, Shizuo sighed.

"You can say no. I mean, not really, since you can't talk, but yeah. We can take this slow."

Izaya shuddered, the prospect of sex with Shizuo suddenly looming dark and real over him.

"I'm right, aren't I? Can you tell me that, at least? We do need to have sex, eventually."

The brunet managed a nod, but not without reddening further. His eyes watered, and he couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment or just the overwhelmingness of it all.

Shizuo grinned from across the table. "I feel like I'm courting a blushing virgin or something."

Izaya's jaw dropped, and then he glared.

"Oh, this is great. You are, aren't you?"

He shook his head violently. _I most certainly am not, you--_

"Just with guys, then?"

Izaya froze, returning to glaring.

"So that's it. Don't worry, Izaya-kun. I'll go slow. Just for you. Since you've never done this before."

Shizuo's laughter was barely suppressed, and Izaya wanted to storm off somewhere, but really, where was he going to go? His tail twitched angrily behind him, and Shizuo smiled.

"Hey. Izaya." The blond stood and moved to the opposite side of the table, dragging his chair over so he could look the other man in the eye. Well, if Izaya had been willing to look at him, that is. "Hey…" The brunet flinched away when Shizuo's hand cupped his jaw, but his head was tilted up gently. "Don't worry. I'm not going to rape you or anything, no matter how badly I want you out of my apartment. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna keep my hands to myself all the time, now that I know what needs to happen. Got it? Think you can handle that?"

Izaya's eyes were still wide, his brain still trying to understand that they needed to have sex. If he was going to get out of this whole mess, he needed to have sex with Shizuo. The smaller man shuddered.

"I'm not that bad, am I?"

Scarlet eyes narrowed then. _Are you fucking serious?_

"Okay, okay. Way to hurt a guy's feelings."

_How are you so calm about this!?_

Gentle hands worked their way into his hair, and Izaya found himself leaning into the touch before he even had a chance to think about what he was doing. And now that Shizuo wanted to make him feel good, it was…

Izaya closed his eyes and let out a purr despite himself. Who knew the brute would be so good with his hands? And then he remembered their time on the sofa, and he swallowed hard.

He let Shizuo pull him onto his lap, trying to enjoy this. The man was right. The faster they got this over with, the faster he'd be better. And this was nice, actually. Shizuo just touching him, petting him…

"Is this okay?" The blond's voice came from the crook of his neck, and Izaya shivered, his tail curling.

The brunet mewed, his hands clenching in the fabric of Shizuo's shirt. His legs wrapped around the man's waist when he stood, he held on as he was carried, and he gasped when he felt his back hit the mattress of Shizuo's bed. His eyes flew open, and his breath quickened.

Shizuo was on top of him, his grin predatory, their bodies barely separated by way of Shizuo's knees and elbows that held him suspended.

"I have work today. You'll be fine on your own?"

The blond chuckled when Izaya was unable to do anything but whimper, and he lowered himself on top of the other man, speaking directly into his ear.

"I should be back soon, though. Wait up for me?"

And then Shizuo was standing and pocketing his keys and and phone and wallet and was out the door…

…leaving Izaya trembling on the bed, wondering how he was supposed to share an apartment while Shizuo was actively trying to seduce him.

 

* * *

 

"Izaya-kuuuun!"

Izaya's ears twitched, and he looked up from the television - his one source of entertainment in this apartment. He hadn't heard that in a while…

It was early afternoon, and Shizuo had returned after only a few hours, as he said he would. The man closed the door behind him and laid what looked suspiciously like a picnic bento on the table. Izaya narrowed his eyes at it.

"Let's go somewhere."

The brunet blinked, not believing what he'd heard. Go somewhere? While he was unable to read, write, talk…and he had kitty ears? Oh, there was no way in hell that was happening.

"C'mon, Izaya." Shizuo spoke with a kind of drawl reminiscent of his usual angry tone, but it held a heat of an entirely different sort.

Izaya hissed in response.

"You've gotta be bored, lying around here all the time with nothing to do. Wanna go out?" The entire time he was talking, the blond made his way closer and closer to the informant, who was frozen to the sofa in confusion. "Let me take you somewhere. I got food and everything."

Now Izaya was sure he was dreaming. What on earth was the matter with Shizuo? It was almost like…almost like…

Shizuo was over him, now, lowering himself to crouch over the brunet, who quickly sat up and scrambled away to press his back to the arm of the sofa.

"That's what you're supposed to do on dates, right? Let me do sweet things for you so I can get into your pants."

Izaya quailed at the expression on Shizuo's face. Dark. Predatory. He'd seen Shizuo's murderous side, which was dangerous enough. This, though… He wasn't sure how to handle this sort of danger. Not when he couldn't just stab the man and run off.

He contemplated beating his head against the wall to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Or maybe it would be better to beat his head against Shizuo's and knock some sense into the man.

Leaning in closer, Shizuo nuzzled at one of Izaya's fuzzy ears, and the brunet mewled in spite of himself.

"Or we could just skip that. Hey, maybe the ears will be the first thing to go. And then you can go out as much as you want without attracting attention. More than you usually do, anyway. What do you think? Worth a shot?"

Before he could even answer, Shizuo was tugging him down, strong hands ordering his body to comply, and Izaya was reeling. What had gotten into him? Why was he being so…forceful?

Who was he kidding? Shizuo was always forceful. And violent.

Except for this past week, when he was helpful and kind. And not so bad to be around.

Izaya shook his head to dismiss those thoughts, insane as they were, and the action spurred Shizuo to lick a hot trail up his neck.

"If you want me to stop, I'll stop."

Izaya whimpered. He wanted to believe that this was all he needed, despite the nagging feeling inside that told him he was wrong. All he needed was Shizuo's touch. His hands, his mouth, his--

The taller man ground his hips down, and Izaya was thoroughly shocked to find that he was hard. Was Shizuo actually getting off on this? Did he actually…want Izaya? And then Shizuo's tongue found Izaya's pulse and licked a hot line along it.

Izaya mewed loudly.

Yes, he needed to just get this over with. Maybe he'd see some more progress afterward. And it would be nice to be able to leave the apartment during the daytime…

The blond rocked, and Izaya whimpered again, responding to his touch, responding to the man between his legs. It did feel good, and if he closed his eyes, he could pretend it wasn't Shizuo.

Except that the smell of smoke clung to his nostrils.

Except that Shizuo's groans echoed in his ears.

Izaya growled and rubbed up against the other man, trying to forget, trying to lose himself. He'd done this before, and it wasn't so different from doing it with a girl.

Except for the fact that there was definitely something long and hard pressing against his dick.

Shizuo turned the informant's head to the side and continued his attentions on the man's neck, liking the way it made the brunet shudder against him. If he had to get stuck with someone, well…at least Izaya made pretty noises. When he wasn't talking and being an antagonistic bastard. Cupping a hand under Izaya's ass, Shizuo held him close, moving him just the way he wanted, grinning when he could feel Izaya's length against his own.

Izaya cursed Shizuo's skill, cursed the way the man could use his hips. He didn't even want this - except that he kind of did, but he was ignoring that fact - but he needed it, and why couldn't he just have sex with Shizuo without enjoying it?

His thoughts were a jumbled mess, and he wasn't really paying attention to the logic of his arguments, but the way he saw it, it would be more dignifying if he were above the blond's touches. If the blond were unable to get him off.

Of course, that would probably violate some sort of rule he didn't know about and he would still be stuck as a catboy, but he didn't want to like this!

His hopes were dashed when Shizuo made him come in his pants. Before the blond himself did, even.

And while he was still shivering and coming down from his high, Shizuo pulled back, frowning and rubbing at Izaya's ears. "Huh. Guess that didn't work like I wanted it to. Do you feel any different?"

Izaya wanted to snarl and claw at the man, but instead, he merely whimpered and shook his head. He didn't feel any different, save for the lack of breath and the new wet spot in his pants.

"Whatever, I guess. We can try again later, or something. Anyway, wanna eat? I really did get food." When Izaya continued to blink up at him, he added, "I guess you can take a bath or something first, if you want. I'm gonna change."

Just like that, Shizuo was gone, striding off to the bedroom like nothing had happened.

And to him, maybe nothing had. It wasn't like he cared. He was only trying to fix Izaya so that the brunet would leave.

Izaya couldn't explain away the tightening in his throat, and so he pushed it down, trying to ignore it.

Why hadn't anything changed? They just done a lot more than cuddle in bed, and even that had brought his human tastes back. Why didn't he feel any different? Looking around the room, he realized that he still couldn't read the labels on the remote when he picked it up. He tried to speak, and only a soft mew came out.

What was wrong? What did he have to do?

Feeling dejected and blinking away tears - of frustration, of course - he dragged himself off to the bathroom to wash away the evidence.

He hoped he could wash away the uneasy feeling in his gut, too.

After soaking in the tub and trying to reason through all sorts of excuses - maybe it needed to be skin-on-skin, maybe it needed to be a certain time of day, maybe, maybe - Izaya pushed his thoughts away and toweled off. He would eat something first and ruminate more later.

He stepped out to find Shizuo sitting on the floor, carefully laying out bento tiers on the unwrapped furoshiki, and when the blond looked up and smiled, Izaya's skin ran warm.

Must have been the bath.

"Come try this. It's not bad." And surely Shizuo could sense Izaya's dejection, because he sighed and reached out to stroke his damp hair. "Stop worrying. We'll get it right."

The soft words and gentle touch soothed Izaya's uneasiness more than anything else had, so far, and that worried him. He refused to acknowledge the implications of it.

Let Shizuo think what he wanted.

Izaya was second-guessing himself enough for the both of them.

He went to bed that night after a day of movie-watching with Shizuo, who was apparently quite content to spend time lazing about when he could.

Izaya was on pins and needles throughout the whole affair, his mind turning over that episode on the couch again and again.

It wasn't that it hadn't felt good, because it had. But Shizuo hadn't exactly…asked.

_You need this. What are you complaining about? It's not like he's showing you a bad time, and he's helping you out. What's your problem?_

And Izaya didn't know. He didn't know.

Shizuo could probably discern his inner turmoil, even if he didn't know exactly what it was about, because he'd been more distant than Izaya would have expected, and he kept throwing him these looks that suggested he knew something was wrong. Izaya had nearly slept on the couch, but that would have been a very large red flag which would surely have the blond all over him trying to figure it out.

Lying in bed, Shizuo's breath was deep and even, and Izaya hoped he was asleep. If he was asleep, then he wasn't touching him.

"You didn't want it, did you?"

The voice next to him nearly startled him out of his skin, and Izaya jumped, eyes wide and glowing faintly in the darkness.

"I keep trying to think of what went wrong, and that's all I can figure. You didn't want it. Because the cuddling and stuff, you were into that. But even though this was more, it didn't do anything. And that's the only difference I can find."

…damn this more-intelligent-than-previously-assumed Shizuo.

The blond rolled to his side, one arm going over the informant to brace his upper body as he hovered over the other man. Izaya's ears went back, and he seemed to shrink in on himself. The reaction made Shizuo's breath catch, and he quickly scooted back.

"That's it, then. Damn it, Izaya, you should've made me stop. I would've stopped." He threw a hand over his eyes and growled. "I feel like an ass. Even after I said I wouldn't take advantage of you and all. And then I go and do that. I thought it would help, and you seemed like you liked it, and I… I'm making excuses." Shizuo sat up, crossing his legs and looking down at Izaya with such remorse that it boggled the brunet's mind.

"From now on, anything new we do, you're gonna have to start. I won't push, even though I really want to."

Izaya made a soft noise at that, and Shizuo shook his head.

"No, not like I want to... I wouldn't... You just…you make pretty noises. I like them."

Izaya was pretty sure he blushed at that, and it was a good thing he couldn't speak, because he didn't know what he would say to that.

"I guess…whatever you wanna do, I'm fine with. So as far as you set the bar, I'll run right up to that, but I'll do my best not to cross it." He sighed and bit his lip. "I am sorry, Izaya."

The informant was reeling. This was so different from the aggressive Shizuo that he'd seen earlier. Much closer to the one he'd grown used to over the past week.

They were silent for a bit, just staring at each other, and the Shizuo laughed a little. "I keep waiting for a response before I remember that you can't say anything." Shaking his head, the blond laid down again, a hand reaching out to tentatively brush at one soft ear before retreating.

"Good night, then."

After fighting with himself and being unsure if he'd won or lost, Izaya sucked in a breath and slid over to press himself flush against the blond. Shizuo gave him a smile that did funny things to his insides, and so Izaya avoided it by nudging his head underneath Shizuo's chin, ears twitching when the man's exhales ruffled the fur. Adjusting to make himself more comfortable, he let out a gentle purr when Shizuo finally pulled him close, taking more pleasure in that embrace than he would ever admit.

"Thank you."

Izaya nosed at the man's neck in response before settling down again.

Sleep came much more easily after that.

 

* * *

 

Shizuo awoke feeling a little like his skin itched, and he brushed away the tail curled against his arm before crawling out of bed. He rubbed a hand over his face and stared down at the man sleeping between his sheets.

What was he supposed to do with him, now? He said he'd help, but Izaya didn't seem to be willing to have sex and get it over with - why, Shizuo couldn't fathom; it was just sex - but he couldn't just take the man and move on. He wasn't that kind of guy, and he'd felt terrible enough for yesterday.

So what, then? He had a house guest that he couldn't get rid of.

It wasn't miserable, living like this, he supposed. Izaya was useful for abating his anger, when he wasn't inciting it, but how long was this going to go on? When was he going to get his life back?

Maybe Izaya could feel him staring, because red eyes opened lazily, still groggy with sleep. The informant stretched slowly, tail flicking, and he let out a soft mew and rolled onto his back, eyes closing again.

At least someone seemed carefree.

Shizuo huffed and turned away to go shower, ire rising the longer he stared at the man. He'd said he wouldn't push, and he also intended to keep his word. And so he was stuck in a stalemate until Izaya felt like doing anything.

He dried off quickly, intending to dress for work even more so and trying to avoid looking at the man on the bed. But whether he'd been growling extra loudly or Izaya could actually sense when he was angry, the younger man rose to wakefulness.

Shizuo watched in surprise as the brunet strode right up to him - the bodyguard had managed to button up his shirt, at least - and slipped his arms around his waist, nuzzling into his chest, simple as that. Izaya purred, rubbing himself ever so slightly against the blond, who found himself relaxing despite how much he didn't especially want to.

With an irritated huff, Shizuo sat hard on the bed, tugging Izaya down with him to perch sideways in his lap, and other than a soft squeak, Izaya didn't protest. His head nudged at Shizuo's chin, ears lying flat so they wouldn't tickle the man's jaw, and the small body stilled in his arms. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Shizuo stroked a hand down Izaya's back, trying to be annoyed at how easy this was. How easily Izaya calmed him.

It didn't make any sense, considering their past relationship, which still bothered Shizuo on occasion. All he could reason through was that Izaya needed him and was too smart to jeopardize that. Despite this, he kept wondering when Izaya was going to snap out of it. Wondering if he'd wake up one morning with a blade pressed to his throat.

A frightened mewl startled him, and he realized just how tightly he was squeezing Izaya. His arms slackened immediately with a mumbled apology, but rather than flee, Izaya merely relaxed again.

It made no sense.

But then, he thought, burying his face in soft, dark hair, rubbing his cheek against Izaya's soft ears, a lot of things didn't make much sense, at the moment.

Izaya just purred.

 

* * *

 

Shizuo had left Izaya at his apartment again, and while a part of him felt just a tiny bit bad that Izaya was probably bored out of his mind, it wasn't like it was his fault. He frowned to himself, thinking about how he could possibly speed things up. It was almost like…like he had to court the younger man. Shizuo scowled. He definitely hadn't signed up for that. Couldn't Izaya try a little harder? Hell, it wasn't even like it was a difficult solution. All he had to do was spread his legs.

The blond went through the day in a rather foul mood, more irritated and brooding than angry, which was to the benefit of everyone, but that didn't lighten his steps at all as he pounded down the hallway. Upset that he needed the very thing that was making him upset, he growled and prowled around the apartment, looking for the informant.

Kitchen, living room, bedroom… The bathroom door was closed, and the sound of gentle splashing came from beyond it. Izaya was…occupied, apparently.

Snarling, Shizuo dug his fingers into the doorframe.

It was thanks to his stupid furry ears that Izaya caught the sound of Shizuo's snarl as it made its way through the wood of the door. He stilled immediately, eyes flicking to the doorknob and widening as he stared at it, waiting for it to turn. He hadn't locked it, and even if he had, there was nothing preventing the blond from smashing it down regardless. Therefore, he hadn't bothered.

But he really hadn't planned on this. Hadn't planned on Shizuo coming back a bit early - and so irate that Izaya was sincerely worried that he was about to storm in and pull him from his bath, stark naked or not. His heart hammered against his ribcage, which rose and fell shallowly, as though he was afraid to even breathe too loudly.

"Izaya…"

The name was growled out, the sound causing the informant's stomach to clench in trepidation, but Shizuo didn't turn the knob. Didn't so much as knock. There was a sigh that came across as more of a groan, and what he assumed was Shizuo's head thudded against the door.

Grateful for the time Shizuo was allowing him, Izaya scrambled to rinse himself off as quickly as possible, not wanting to test the man's patience any more than he had to. He pretended that his fingers didn't shake as he knotted the towel around his waist. He ignored the way his legs trembled a little as he padded across the floor.

Maybe the brute would let him get dressed before mauling him.

Pressing his hands to his face, Izaya let himself shiver just once before steeling himself and gripping the doorknob.

He turned it slowly, wanting to give Shizuo time to be made aware that the door was about to open. Izaya wasn't sure if he was leaning against it, and he didn't particularly want to be crushed by a surprised bodyguard. He pulled the door back tentatively, stepping around the edge of it when Shizuo didn't immediately fling it wide.

Shizuo was nearly vibrating from trying to suppress…whatever it was he was feeling. He wasn't fuming, but he was definitely…Not Happy. The blond's breaths seemed heavy, and his gaze would have made Izaya shrink had he not been prepared for something like this. As it was, the informant took another step forward and looked up, meeting Shizuo's eyes with a confidence he didn't really feel.

"Izaya." There it was again, the word hanging between them, laden with more emotion than Izaya was prepared to decipher. But Shizuo was asking. So what else could he do?

The brunet nodded, and with a cry that was equal parts exasperation and relief, the taller man gripped his arms and hauled him forward. Izaya squeaked, not quite expecting to be pressed so close, to be held so tightly. His arms stuck out awkwardly, and he looped them around Shizuo's waist just to have something to do with them. The blond was too busy nuzzling into Izaya's hair to notice, apparently. Either that, or he didn't care. Neither option would have been a surprise.

"Why does it have to be you?" The question was soft and sad, and it didn't really matter that Izaya couldn't talk, because he wouldn't have had much of a reply for that, anyway.

Shizuo's breath fluttered through his hair, through the soft fur of his ears, and Izaya shuddered, the sensation sending chills running up and down his spine. The blond started like he'd been burned, and he leaned away just enough to really look at his captive, seeming to realize for the first time that, aside from the damp towel, Izaya was naked and wet in his arms.

With a sigh, he backed toward the bed and dragged an unprotesting Izaya with him, whipping the top blanket off and bringing it to cover his own shoulders. Dropping to sit on the mattress, he was startled when Izaya crawled into his lap unprompted. Shizuo wasn't sure what that meant, but he wrapped his arms - and the blanket - around the informant, noticeably relaxing when the smaller man curled into him.

Izaya shivered again, unsure if it was because of the chill in the air or the feel of Shizuo's breath against his neck or the fact that he was kneeling over the other man, bare legs spread wide to either side, skin rubbing against the fabric of Shizuo's pants.

"I hate you."

Izaya didn't respond, and Shizuo held him tighter, in opposition to those words that Izaya hadn't heard in what seemed like ages.

"And I hate that you can do this to me."

That strong body was calming down, the waves of emotion were falling to a manageable level, and Shizuo nearly moaned into Izaya's neck, relishing the fact that he had managed to get through this without a violent reaction.

"You smell good."

Izaya huffed. _Of course I do, you idiot._ His belly flip-flopped, and his chest was tight, but as time passed without any threatening movements from Shizuo, he dropped his chin to rest on the man's shoulder.

"…thank you."

Swallowing, Izaya ignored the burning sensation in his throat, annoyed that he couldn't respond with a cutting remark. He settled for rolling his eyes.

It would have been more effective had Shizuo actually been looking at him, but the fact that the blond was sighing gently into his ear was, he supposed…

…not too terrible of a trade-off.

The minutes ticked by slowly, and neither Shizuo nor Izaya made a move to rise. Indeed, the only movement that seemed to be happening was an occasional shiver from Izaya -- a reaction that only increased in frequency as time passed. When Shizuo finally noticed, the shivers were strong enough to make him upset that he hadn't noticed earlier.

"Izaya?"

When he shifted his hands, his palms met damp skin, and he growled under his breath. Of course the man was cold. He mumbled a half-hearted apology and rubbed at the informant's back in long, broad strokes, trying to warm him.

Izaya purred and melted against him, eyes closed in contentment as Shizuo attempted to work the cold out of him, and his head tilted, coaxed by the hot breath at his neck. As Shizuo's hand continued to pass along his spine, Izaya arched to follow it, back curving to lead Shizuo along.

When Shizuo's hand hit his hips, Izaya purred loudly, and he didn't even register the blond's words until it was too late.

"Damn, I bet this doesn't dry quickly."

And then Shizuo's fingers were wrapping around his tail, squeezing gently from base to tip in one long pull, unhindered by the bow that Izaya had neglected to put on again after his bath.

Izaya's jaw dropped.

The blond didn't stop there, setting to rubbing at the fur in quick, short strokes. It made sense that such a method would be the fastest way of drying, but…

_Oh_ …

At a shallow inhale, Shizuo finally paused and leaned back.

"Are you o--"

Izaya tried to school his features. He really did. But he could feel his cheeks burn, could imagine what he must look like with eyelids lowered, mouth open to release soft pants.

_Don't stop. Don't look at me. But don't…don't stop._

The brunet could feel it when Shizuo froze.

"Fuck. That… Shit. Sorry."

Pulling away, Shizuo left Izaya wrapped in the blankets on his bed and turned to stride out of the room.

At least, he would have, had Izaya not launched himself across the bed.

Shizuo's breath stopped for a moment, and he looked down at the arms wrapped about his waist, then over his shoulder to meet Izaya's gaze, which was widened in just as much surprise as he was feeling.

_Don't stop. I think I like it when you--_

Izaya clamped his eyelids down, like doing so would clamp down on the thoughts running through his head.

"Goddamnit, what do you want from me?" Shizuo's words were low and growling, and they vibrated along Izaya's spine.

But Izaya didn't move, save to press his ears back. He could feel the man shaking again, and why was Shizu-chan so easy to rile up? It was so annoying.

The fabric of Shizuo's shirt dragged against Izaya's cheek as the other man turned in his grip. The press of a belt buckle to his face was uncomfortable, so he risked lifting his head. And once he'd made it that far, he decided he might as well scoot up onto his knees so he could look the blond in the eye. Or…almost. The bodyguard was too damn tall for this to work properly.

Hands pressed flat to Shizuo's chest, Izaya watched them rise and fall with Shizuo's breaths. Breaths that slowed once more. And when one large hand came up to cover his own, Izaya started. Shizuo's skin was warm against his own, roughened fingertips stroking lightly, idly, like Shizuo wasn't even aware they were doing so.

"What do you want from me?"

The question was softer, calmer, like Shizuo was merely asking and not tirading.

Izaya's fingers clenched in Shizuo's shirt, tugging, and the blond followed in mild confusion, folding himself back onto the bed. Once he'd got him there, Izaya wasn't sure what to do next. He was torn in confusion -- confusion that the same being who terrified him was also the one who made him feel safe. The being who had bruised him, broken him more times than he could count was also the one who caused those pleasurable tingles that ran over his skin. The being who hated him, wanted to destroy him, wanted to hurt and kill and--

He cared.

He cared more about Izaya than…anyone. Ever.

And Izaya didn't know what to do with that.

"Hey. Hey, come on."

Izaya sucked in a breath and wondered why he was blinking so furiously. Why everything was so watery. And then he gave up and just closed his eyes.

He didn't open them when Shizuo's fingers traced one cheekbone. He didn't open them when Shizuo pulled him close. He didn't open them when Shizuo rubbed at his ears, his neck, his shoulders.

He couldn't open them when he pressed his face into the other man's chest.

Shizuo's chin came to rest on the top his head, and Izaya shuddered.

_What am I supposed to do with you? What am I supposed to do with myself? What are we doing?_

"What do you want from me?" It was a whisper, now. Soft. Gentle.

_I don't know! Can't you see that's the problem? You see every other damn thing! You read my mind when I don't want you to. You know things about me that I don't know myself! Why can't you just tell me what I'm supposed to be doing?? Why do I even want you to??_

"You're okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

_How can you say that? I'm absolutely not okay! Nothing about this is okay! And I don't know what I need to do to make it okay! Everything is confusing and wrong and I--_

"Trust me."

Izaya's breath caught once, twice, and then he was gone, shivering all over and refusing to acknowledge that he was getting Shizuo's shirt all wet and refusing even more to acknowledge the fact that he cared whether he was or not.

Shizuo didn't say another word. The taller man just held him, stroking and petting, and Izaya didn't know if he wanted to get closer or further away, so he curled in on himself, curled in against Shizuo. He hiccuped and sniffled and trembled and Shizuo just let him.

After long minutes, Izaya calmed, the occasional shiver sneaking up on him now and again, and he couldn't even find it in himself to tense up when Shizuo pressed what he was almost positive was a kiss to the top of his head.

"I'd kind of forgotten that you're human like the rest of us. That this must suck a whole lot for you. That it's probably stressful and depressing and terrifying and all that. And I think I'd forgotten that you feel things like everyone else does. That you have feelings and you're not just an insufferable louse that makes everyone's lives shit. You're an insufferable human that makes everyone's lives shit."

Izaya didn't have an answer to that. He wouldn't have had one even if he'd been capable of speech.

"But…lately, you've been… You've been kind of nice to have around. And I know this whole situation is stupid, but I told you I'd help you. And I'm going to. And you're going to be fine, you know. Have I given you a reason not to trust me? Since I'd told you I'd help you, I mean."

_No, and that's the problem! You've been nothing but wonderful and helpful and that's part of why this makes no sense! Why do you have to be so…so…_

"Thank you."

Izaya was so surprised that he let out a little mewl.

"For reminding me."

At that, Izaya couldn't help but look at him.

And once he'd tilted his head up, Shizuo leaned down.

Izaya ignored the way his heart raced.

He ignored the way his stomach flipped.

He ignored the way his breath stopped.

But when Shizuo's lips pressed to his forehead, it seemed that he couldn't ignore the way that his insides twisted and dropped.

_No. No, that's not… Shizu-chan, I want…_

> _What do you want from me?_

_I want…_

The touch of Shizuo's lips to his own made him whimper, and if he'd had the energy to do so, he probably would have burst into tears all over again.

He didn't know who had closed the distance, who had made the first move, and he didn't even care. It was… It was…

_Wonderful. Yes. Shizu-chan, yes._

When Shizuo pulled back, Izaya didn't open his eyes. He was afraid to. What if the blond was angry? Upset? Dissatisfied?

He didn't realize that he was stretching upward toward the other man until he nearly overbalanced, and his eyes flew open as he fell against Shizuo's strong chest. The other man laughed softly at Izaya's squeak of surprise, and Izaya flushed.

"So you're okay with this?"

_Are you that stupid, Shizu-chan?_

Izaya huffed and looked up, face locked into a half-pout.

Shizuo laughed again. "Just checking."

He didn't ask before kissing Izaya again, and Izaya couldn't say he much minded. Effectively sprawled across Shizuo's chest as the blond reclined, Izaya purred when one of Shizuo's arms came up around his waist. He mewed at the feel of Shizuo's lips moving against his own, hissed softly when Shizuo bit gently, trembled when Shizuo's tongue slid into his mouth, and oh, wow…

_That's not even… Not fair, Shizu-chan._

Izaya rolled against him, trying to fight Shizuo's onslaught as best he could, but when Shizuo pulled away, Izaya whimpered. He was fighting a losing battle, wasn't he?

When Shizuo's head nudged its way underneath his chin, however, Izaya couldn't find it in him to care overly much. It felt entirely too good -- the sensation of Shizuo's mouth sucking, licking, biting, oh--

_Shi… Shizu-chan!_

It came out as a plaintive yowl, and Shizuo pulled back again, probably to check on whether Izaya was injured, but Izaya panted and squirmed on top of him. Shizuo's eyes narrowed, and the smile that broke over his face was slow, knowing, and full of entirely too much lust. Except that it actually wasn't too much because Izaya could feel himself twitch and he hadn't even known he was so hard until this moment and god.

Shizuo's hand trailed lazily around from Izaya's back, and with every centimeter, Izaya's breath grew heavier.

Shizuo didn't touch his cock.

Instead, Shizuo pried one of Izaya's hands loose from his shirt (and when had he tangled his fingers so thoroughly into it?) and brought it down between them.

"C'mon. You want to."

Izaya bristled. The thought of doing that in front of Shizuo was both arousing and somehow…saddening. Like Shizuo didn't want to touch him, himself.

He didn't get to slump for more than a few seconds, because Shizuo's hand had loosed his own and was rubbing steadily at the base of his tail within moments. Izaya tensed up at the feeling, jaw dropping, and then Shizuo pulled the entire appendage through his fist, like the longest handjob Izaya had ever known, and the informant's whole body shuddered. He let out an airy mew and nearly collapsed.

There was a deep, hungry sound that made Izaya's nerves sing, and then Shizuo was moving him, turning him. Gently, but insistently.

The brush of Shizuo's clothes against his back was ridiculously erotic. His legs splayed wide from his new seat in Shizuo's lap, and when his head dropped back, Shizuo's shoulder saved it from cracking against the wall. One strong hand rubbed down his tail again, the other coaxed his own hand between his legs, and Shizuo's mouth was at his neck, kissing at the skin and releasing hot breath that made Izaya whimper. Feline ears dropping, he closed his eyes, overwhelmed.

"C'mon, Izaya."

It took one more pull of his tail before Izaya's dick twitched in jealousy, and what else could he do?

The rumble that came from Shizuo's chest when Izaya finally stroked himself made the brunet shudder, legs tensing and stomach flipping.

"That's it…"

_This isn't fair. This isn't anywhere close to fair. You play dirty, Shizu-chan. But goddamnit, if you stop I will kill you._

All Shizuo heard was Izaya's pants and mewls, but Izaya could swear he felt the man grin into his hair.

The hand that wasn't stroking Izaya's tail feathered along his thighs, and while Izaya was aware of the rise and fall of his mews, depending upon where Shizuo was touching him at the time, he couldn't bring himself to care all that much.

He also couldn't bring himself to do anything other than arch wantonly when that hand stroked higher between his legs, caressing his balls gently, stroking at the space behind them.

Shizuo's touch was nothing like Izaya had thought it would be. It was considerate and calculated and tender, and it blew his mind.

…and also some other things.

Izaya came into his own hand with a howl, to the feeling of Shizuo stroking him all over and Shizuo's mouth against his hair, soft encouragements in his ear.

"You're okay. Izaya, it's okay."

When Izaya became aware of his surroundings again, he realized that Shizuo was murmuring softly to him, soothing and petting him, and he wondered why Shizuo seemed so concerned until he opened his eyes and found himself blinking away tears.

He shuddered, head feeling a bit light, and turned.

Shizuo let him. Let him crawl around until he was comfortable. Until his hands were again at Shizuo's chest and his hips flush against--

\-- _oh_.

Shizuo's laugh at Izaya's realization was a bit breathy, and Izaya would have flushed, if his face were capable of getting any redder. When Izaya rocked his hips a bit, though, his eyes went darker, and Izaya's belly flipped.

"Can I...?"

He didn't finish the sentence, merely bringing one hand behind Izaya's neck and licking his lips. In return, Izaya leaned forward to lick at them, too, and Shizuo growled in response. Izaya could feel the tension and the strength in the body beneath him, but then he stopped thinking about everything altogether when Shizuo took his mouth again, spare hand already scrabbling between them.

Shizuo's sigh when he finally got a hand around himself was a near-moan, and Izaya mewled in response, jostling a bit when Shizuo's arm began to move.

Immersed in the moment, Izaya couldn't help but be curious…

The blond let him pull back enough to watch, giving him an unabashed, lopsided little smile. It was adorable and erotic all at the same time, and Izaya didn't know what to do with it.

He licked his lips.

Shizuo moaned.

Izaya grinned and did it again.

Shizuo moaned louder.

Now this was something he could get used to. Baiting Shizuo, waiting for a reaction, preying upon that reaction. Except in this case, Shizuo was more…predictable. And less dangerous. It was almost…

… _fun_.

Izaya swallowed hard and decided to file that away for another time when an attractive blond man was not actively jacking off in front of him.

It took him completely by surprise that he felt…a little bad.

_But why? What am I feeling bad about? I haven't done a single thing to him, so why do I…_

_…do I…_

_…oh, god, I want to do things to him. Fuck everything, this is the most absurd… I'm going to--_

Izaya flipped a mental table and then gave up, deciding that all of this felt good, and it was only fair--

_When have I ever cared about playing fair?_

\--to pay back someone who'd helped you--

_No, seriously, when have I ever--_

\--without asking for anything in return--

_Goddamnit_.

Shizuo's gasp sounded sweet in his ears, and Izaya's eyes widened in surprise, trying to quickly figure out what he'd just done. Body moving seemingly of its own accord, Izaya found himself with one slender finger in his mouth.

It wasn't his.

And actually…both he and Shizuo were quite happy about that fact.

"You can't be serious."

Taking the statement as an indication of incredulity (which it was) and excitement (which it also was), Izaya's eyes narrowed and he gave one delicate suck, easing slowly off the digit until the last knuckle had barely cleared, then dove down again.

Shizuo's head went back so hard Izaya was surprised it didn't make a dent in the wall. Following him as he arched and shuddered, Izaya's tongue flicked between Shizuo's middle and index finger before he parted his lips to take both of them into his mouth.

The blond whimpered, and Izaya tried to ignore the fact that his own hips twitched in response.

He tried to ignore the way Shizuo looked at him, eyes full of heat.

He tried to ignore the way Shizuo's fingers curled in his mouth, stroking back against his tongue. The way that felt _good_.

He tried to ignore the way he purred around those fingers; the way that Shizuo's panting breaths made him feel _accomplished_ ; the way that the sight of Shizuo orgasming in front of him made him feel _satisfied_.

And after, Shizuo didn't move to clean up immediately, didn't move to push Izaya off him, didn't move…at all, really. If Izaya had to put a name to it, he'd say that the man was _basking_.

Then Shizuo's eyes opened, and the blond laughed.


	5. Day 9 - afternoon

Izaya couldn't remember ever feeling this rested. This content. It was a different feeling from smug superiority or manaical glee. It was...

Was this happiness?

It was in the middle of pondering this question that he became aware of the incessant buzzing coming from the kitchen. The bedroom door was open, and the sound was just grating enough to carry through to where he had been enjoying a truly wonderful lie-in.

With a little growl, he made to get up, but he found himself hampered by a heavy arm thrown across his waist. Disoriented, Izaya twisted and squinted at the blond head of hair behind him.

He'd woken up with Shizu-chan. Again.

That wasn't...completely unusual, he supposed, but that buzzing was just...

Squirming, Izaya managed to wake Shizuo enough to loosen his grip, which certainly didn't make the bodyguard happy, judging by his grumbling, but he was finally free to silence that blasted vibration.

Padding out into the kitchen, he rubbed his eyes in between glaring at his phone, sitting innocuously on the counter, as it had been for days. But now, it was flashing angrily.

Izaya could count the number of people who had his personal number - and the clearance to use it - on one hand. Come to think of it, though, it was rather remarkable that it had taken so long for someone to notice that he was gone.

Namie. Of course it was Namie. Well, he certainly wasn't paying her to--

Izaya blinked.

Namie.

He could read Namie's name.

His hand trembled, the phone resting upon it vibrating as much from the call as from his shaking.

He could read.

And on the off chance...

Izaya mewed hopefully, but the noise petered out into silence quickly. So he still had no voice, but it was certainly progress! But what was even more remarkable was the fact that the first thing he wanted to do was not to text Namie and give her an update (tell her to piss off). Instead, he wanted to leap back into bed and rouse Shizuo to share in his excitement.

A niggling thought in the back of his mind reminded him that it was very likely this exact sentiment that had resulted in the return of his literacy.

Shaking his head, he let himself smile. There was nothing wrong with his excitement, nothing wrong with his happiness, and dare he say... There was nothing wrong with wanting to tell Shizu-chan all about it.

He was still smiling when he entered the bedroom again, phone clasped tightly in both hands, and Shizuo stared blearily at him.

"What're you so happy about? Too fucking early..."

In response, Izaya clambered onto the bed, further waking the blond, but the taller man was now puzzled enough to balance out his annoyance.

"Izaya?"

Still trembling, Izaya typed out,

_[I can read.]_

Shifting underneath him, Shizuo smiled, slow and lazy and satisfied. "Figured something would've happened. I think I've got a healing dick."

Izaya huffed and bounced sharply on top of the other man in retaliation, and Shizuo let out a wheezing laugh while he waited for Izaya to type more.

_[You're an idiot. Also, no.]_

Shizuo was quiet for just long enough that Izaya was starting to question if he'd inadvertently gone too far when the blond surged upward and grabbed him, tugging him down into the sheets.

The squeak he let out was most definitely not adorable.

"I'm happy for you, flea."

The words were gentle, quiet, and the way Shizuo said them made the title sound more like an endearment than an insult.

Izaya wasn't sure how he felt about that, but still riding high on his regained abilities, he couldn't find it in himself to bother sorting out that particular tidbit. Instead, he returned to his phone, ignoring all of the new emails and messages without a second glance. He'd get to them later. Right now, he had much more important things to do.

_[I want to go outside.]_

Shizuo snorted. "So go. Who's stopping you?"

_[Not by myself! What if someone tries to talk to me? Surely you wouldn't leave me to fend for myself, Shizu-chan~]_

Not only did the nickname not appear to upset Shizuo, he seemed to actually brighten at the suggestion that they go out together. And wasn't that a thoroughly unusual chain of events.

"Just lemee call Tom and see if he needs me today."

While the other man wandered off in search of his own phone, Izaya thought.

A week ago, all he'd wanted was his life back. To be able to do his job. And the first thing he'd done after returning to some semblance of the man he'd been was to go to Shizuo. He went to the man who, not two weeks ago, had been his most prominent, most dangerous enemy (though he wouldn't admit it to the brute, of course). And doing so had actually made him happier. Not because he was getting a rise out of the other man. Not because he was leaving chaos and disaster in his wake.

It was because of that sweet smile. The one that made his body heat all over.

And when Shizuo returned to kneel behind him on the bed, chest pressed along Izaya's back and strong arms coming up to enfold him, Shizuo's murmured, "I'm all yours" certainly didn't hurt.

Izaya's life was upending itself, turning itself end over end, and the strangest part was that he was more content than he could ever remember being.

It was a lazy morning.

Shizuo made toast, and Izaya stole his away before the man could lather it in sweet jams and syrups and render it inedible. They sat in what could have been considered companionable silence, broken up by the scrape of Izaya's phone across the table, back and forth, and Shizuo's soft replies.

_[I don't want to go anywhere close. As far as I'm concerned, I'm on vacation. Not working.]_

Shizuo hummed and licked jam from his lips while he thought.

"Beach?"

A hiss. _[It's not even summer. And I will claw your eyes from their sockets and feed them to you if you throw me in the water.]_

Shizuo offered only a snort. "Kitty's got claws."

Another hiss.

"So, what's your idea of a perfect date?"

The question threw Izaya through a loop.

Certainly, he'd done enough research on the subject to give an acceptable answer, but Shizuo had that knack for seeing things about him that Izaya himself didn't know. He'd sniff out the ruse quickly, which made doing such a thing pointless. But then the problem became that Izaya had to actually think about himself. Be introspective.

He hated being introspective.

He could, and would, analyze the whole of humanity six ways till Sunday, but _himself_...

That was unpleasant ground.

Izaya didn't realize he'd been frowning until Shizuo poked him in the cheek, brown eyes much too bright for Izaya's liking. What right did the brute have to be so happy when Izaya was so uncertain? Without even thinking, he growled and took a swipe, but Shizuo, menace that he was, captured that hand easily.

_Beast_.

The blond hadn't even needed to take his eyes from Izaya's own.

"You have no idea, do you? You get all testy when you're confused."

_I do not!_

Izaya's reply came out as an irritated yowl, his phone out of reach, as it was currently on Shizuo's side of the table.

Shizuo laughed. "Get your shit together, Izaya-kun. We're heading out in five minutes."

With that, Shizuo stood, dumped his plate in the sink, and strode off, leaving a bewildered Izaya wondering what exactly had happened.

_I hate Shizu-chan._

They had ended up taking the train, of all things. He'd thought the last place Shizuo would want to be was in a confined space with lots of easily-injured humans, but then again, that was likely why the taller man was keeping one hand firmly clasped in Izaya's own, Shizuo's thumb stroking relentlessly across the back of it.

It was rather relaxing, actually.

Scarlet eyes stared lazily around the car while Izaya's free hand toyed with the drawstring ends of Shizuo's hooded jacket he'd borrowed for the outing. Hopefully he'd be less recognizable because of it.

He was absolutely not wearing it because it was big and soft and smelled like the man.

It was just that there was plenty of room for him to curl his tail up inside. And he could cover his claws - it was time to call them what they were - with the long sleeves.

And maybe it was just a little bit soft.

With a sigh, Izaya closed his eyes and rested his head on Shizuo's shoulder. The stroking stopped for only a moment, and then it evolved into a longer movement that loosened Shizuo's grip but allowed him room to rub more of Izaya's hand.

He was not going to purr.

Sometime later, and wasn't it odd that he couldn't tell exactly how long it had been, Izaya was dragged to his feet with a confused _murr_ and followed Shizuo off the train, blinking slowly. The sun really had no business being as bright as it was.

He was still grumbling when the smell of the water hit his nose, and Izaya's head jerked up sharply to stare at the wide expanse of what must have been the bay before turning to fix Shizuo with a glare.

"You said no beaches. This isn't a beach. Look, no sand."

Izaya hated that he was right. There was instead a paved walkway, a metal barrier, and a grassy hill dotted with benches.

_Technicalities_.

It had been so long since he'd ventured further than Shizuo's apartment, and the itching vulnerability he felt at being so exposed without his voice, without his greatest defense, was somewhat offset by Shizuo's presence beside him. And wasn't that even more annoying.

The weather was pleasant. Crisp and just a little breezy, but the sun was warm and bright. Perfect napping weather.

Izaya eyed one of the benches thoughtfully, and with a snort, Shizuo shoved him toward it.

"You finally get out of the house, and the first thing you want to do is sleep. Aren't you exciting."

The smaller man made a rude gesture and slouched over to the bench, and Shizuo followed rather amiably.

"I haven't been here in ages," he murmured as soon as they'd claimed seats.

Izaya looked out at the water, then back at Shizuo.

"I'm usually busy with work and with chasing your sorry ass around."

A moment, and then, _[You don't have to chase me.]_

"And you don't have to go poking your nose in around my city."

Izaya smiled a little. _[Shizu-chan, that's literally my job.]_

"Ugh," Shizuo shoved at him gently with one shoulder, but it was enough to nearly knock Izaya sideways. "Don't remind me. Can't wait to see what you're going to do with all...this."

He waved his hand around vaguely, and Izaya squinted at him, eyes sharp, assessing.

_[Why take me in if you're so sure I'll use it against you?]_

Shizuo sighed. "Because if I hadn't, who would?"

That made Izaya go quiet for a while.

_It's true, though. I've got no one. No one who'd care, really. They'd miss what I do for them, but would they miss_ me _?_

Izaya flung himself backward with a dramatic sigh, head knocking against the wood of the bench, but he didn't much care.

He hated thinking about it.

He'd be gone soon enough, he supposed. Especially with the way he lived. How much longer did he have, really? And when he was gone...

Izaya hadn't noticed he was shaking, but when Shizuo's arm went around him, he wondered how he'd missed that fact. He was trembling, his skin felt like it was buzzing, and there was a odd burning sensation behind his eyes. With a soft whine, he turned and let his head thunk against Shizuo's shoulder, instead. Between the hood and Shizuo's body, he could manage to block out most of the sun, and then it was just him. Alone with his thoughts.

He _hated_ \--

A soft grumble was his only warning before Shizuo was moving, pushing and pulling him until he was seated in the other man's lap. With one arm around his waist and the other stealing up to bury in his hair beneath the hood, Izaya was firmly anchored to him.

But he didn't felt trapped. It was...comforting.

If he concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel the press of lips to the top of his head, even through the fabric.

"Just don't get snot on my shirt."

And somehow, that was that did it. The brunette's breath came and went in wet, gasping sobs that we're all the more pathetic for how inhuman they sounded. He trembled in Shizuo's arms, but all the man did was pet him, stroke him, hold him close.

A feeble fist pounded against Shizuo's chest, but there was no real force behind it. Shaking fingers managed to unlock his phone, and he blinked away the tears enough to see the screen.

_[I hate this.]_

"I know."

_[I need you, and I hate it.]_

"I know."

_[But I don't hate you, and I hate that most of all.]_

Shizuo had no response to that. Just a sigh and a pair of strong arms that continued to hold him close until Izaya felt wrung out and exhausted.

"You're gonna be okay, you know. We'll fix this. You don't have to worry."

And sitting there, curled against the man he used to hate most, Izaya let himself believe.

_[I know.]_


	6. Day 9 - evening/Day 10

 

It wasn't possible to undo years of hate. Not really.

But to move on? That was more doable.

With an absolutely-not-sniffle, Izaya squeezed Shizuo's hand, and he thrilled at the little flip-flops his stomach seemed to do when Shizuo squeezed back.

Shizuo cared.

And wasn't it remarkable that the one person he'd thought inhuman, the black spot festering within his love of humanity, was the one thing anchoring him. If he were to suddenly disappear, there would be no one sharing Shizuo's bed, no one making disgusted faces at him over breakfast, no one to move in close and tame the rage that Shizuo hated so much. And Izaya was certain that Shizuo would notice if he were gone. Shizuo would care. And...he thought that maybe, Shizuo would want him to stick around.

Izaya was in the middle of also-not-wiping-his-nose when Shizuo stopped suddenly. Looking around quickly, Izaya tried to find the reason why, tensed and ready for whatever had Shizuo on alert. He could read the nervousness and uncertainty in the man's body language, and he was quickly approaching another panic attack when Shizuo finally spoke.

"So, hey, I know this might not be the right time or place, but..." He trailed off, and Izaya was trying to catch his gaze when the blond shot forward, pressing the lightest of kisses to Izaya's parted lips.

When Shizuo drew back, the nervousness had only increased, and Izaya quickly grabbed at his hand, both because he wanted to calm the storm that might be following and because...he didn't want it to be over.

They crashed together again, and Izaya was desperate and eager and he _wanted_. They were in public and he didn't even care.

Shizuo's chuckle was hot against his lips, and in between kisses, he growled out, "It's okay, Izaya. I'm not going anywhere."

Izaya mewled and groped for his phone, typing out a frantic, _[Take me home.]_

It made Shizuo's eyes darken, and his tongue darted out to lick his own lips before he grinned. "I can do that."

 

* * *

 

It wasn't the most miserable train ride of Izaya's life. He'd been battered and bruised too much for anything other than a trip to the hospital or Shinra to rank that highly. But it might have been the most frustrating.

The door to Shizuo's apartment had barely closed behind them before Izaya was clawing at the taller man. He was trying not to injure him, he really was, but Shizuo didn't even flinch at the nicks, instead grabbing Izaya by the wrists and pressing him back into the door, pinning him with his hips.

Izaya keened.

In response, Shizuo growled and brought both hands up to push back Izaya's hood and bury themselves in his hair, tugging the strands and stroking his ears and making Izaya pant and grind against him.

Hissing, Izaya was already scratching at his clothes before Shizuo had the presence of mind to work on removing them, but he rolled with it and helped the smaller man leave a trail of garments on the way to the bedroom.

It made some kind of sense, Shizuo supposed, that their fervor in warring with each other would somehow translate into sex. Gone was the tentative Izaya from before. In his place was the one who pulled the strings to get what he wanted, the one that set Shizuo's blood on fire, the one that made him want to beat the other man into submission.

Except this time, he stole Izaya's breath with a kiss, rather than with a hand at his throat. He goaded the man into action with sinuous rolls of his hips rather than well-placed punches. And he found that he could pin the informant down with only his gaze, much more easily than his heavy projectiles had ever been able to.

And Izaya trembled beneath him on the bed, pale skin flushed, chest already heaving from the effort or from the need. Or maybe both.

"What do you want, Izaya-kun?" Shizuo's voice was a low rumble that made Izaya mewl and bite his lip.

He knew the brunet couldn't talk, and his phone was surely tangled up in his pants on the floor somewhere, but Shizuo had complete faith in Izaya's ability to communicate what he wanted, anyway.

He was a little surprised when Izaya spread his legs wider, tilting his hips and rocking up toward Shizuo. Not because Izaya wanting sex was odd, but at that moment, he seemed so...tentative. It gave Shizuo pause.

And then he remembered snatches of a previous conversation... Izaya hadn't exactly done this, before.

Well, that settled it. Might as well take the path of least resistance.

"You wanna fuck? Like...penetration and everything?"

Izaya colored further, but nodded.

"Do you much care who does what?"

The hesitation there spoke more than Izaya possibly could have, and the smaller man shifted uncertainly before shaking his head.

"Right. In that case, I'd like to have your dick in me, if it's all the same to you."

The confusion and surprise was nearly palpable, and Shizuo was hard pressed not to laugh at the expression on Izaya's face. He managed to keep it down to a chuckle, and least.

"What, you thought that because I'm bigger and stronger that I'd be topping?"

Izaya squirmed.

"You haven't done this before, and I'm a lot harder to injure than you are."

Izaya puffed his cheeks out, the picture of annoyance.

"I'm not saying you're going to. It's not supposed to hurt, and I know what I'm doing. But it's one less thing for you to worry about. We can switch it up later. It's not a big deal. So you can stop pouting at me, now."

Izaya huffed, and Shizuo marveled that he found this man adorable, now.

Adorable. Izaya. Huh.

"Come on, then."

Shizuo grabbed Izaya and flipped them easily, landing on his back with a slightly bewildered Izaya on top of him. The smaller man braced himself on locked arms above Shizuo and ducked his head.

"Embarrassment is a good look on you."

Izaya punched him in the shoulder, and Shizuo just laughed before leaning up to capture his mouth.

"Is this okay? I'm really asking, here." The question was soft, ghosting across Izaya's lips, but the man nodded. "All right. So--"

Shizuo was cut off by Izaya grinding down against him. With a growl, he kissed the informant hard and bucked upward. One hand went down to grasp Izaya's hip, encourage him to continue moving, and the pair of them groaned. It took a lot of effort for Shizuo to push Izaya off enough to reach toward the bedside table, not because it was physically difficult, but because he enjoyed the feeling of the other man on top of him. Immensely.

For his efforts, he got a disgruntled hiss.

"Just a sec," he mumbled, rifling through the drawer to find a condom and that little bottle that looked like hair gel but absolutely wasn't.

Izaya grinned impishly at him as soon as the items hit the bed, and Shizuo only grinned back.

"Better to be prepared, yeah?"

The brunet hit him hard in a full-body tackle and began sucking kisses down the strong column of Shizuo's neck. He fell back willingly, gripping Izaya with his knees and encouraging him to keep moving. The feeling of their cocks together was electric, and Shizuo gasped, the sound mingling with the little mews Izaya was making.

"Fuck. Okay. Let me--" Shizuo didn't even bother to finish the question, groping blindly at his side to find the lube, and Izaya huffed when Shizuo batted his hand away in favor of his own. "Claws, Izaya. There aren't many things I want in my ass less."

Izaya gave an airy giggle, and Shizuo was positive he would have spit back something witty if he were able. But as it was...

The gel was cold, but Shizuo didn't mind, relaxing easily into the stretch of one finger with a sigh. In front of him, Izaya watched avidly, hands kneading the bedspread like there was something else he'd really rather be doing with them. In what might have been a compromise, Izaya bent low to lick a hot stripe up Shizuo's inner thigh. The blond gasped and jerked, then moaned when Izaya did it again. Dark red eyes blinked at him from between his spread legs, and Shizuo pushed in another finger, possibly before he was ready for it, but goddamn...

"Fucking yes..." he hissed.

Izaya's breath puffed across Shizuo's skin in a laugh, but then his mouth was back, and Shizuo didn't much care about anything else. Reaching down, he buried his free hand in Izaya's hair, scratching at the base of his ears in a move that made Izaya purr and arch, tail whipping back and forth behind him.

It was too soon, but it also wasn't soon enough that Shizuo was pulling his fingers free and tearing open a condom. Izaya waited patiently while the blond rolled it onto his cock, breath catching a bit in his chest, and then Shizuo was coaxing Izaya closer and rocking upward, and Izaya slid home.

Twin moans sounded in the darkness, and Shizuo could swear that Izaya was looking down at him in something strangely close to wonder. It did strange things to his stomach, made him feel all twisted up into knots...

But then, that could have been a result of Izaya fucking into him, deep thrusts that sent Shizuo's heart screaming into his throat. He panted and rolled his hips, the motion causing a wave of tension to clench around Izaya's cock, and the other man made a strange choking noise.

"C'mon, flea. You're not gonna hurt me, so get to it."

Izaya bared his teeth in a snarl before snapping his hips sharply.

Shizuo cried out.

No matter how many times his body broke and mended, there were some places that remained soft and tender, and it felt like Izaya was touching all of them at once. The brunet was licking at his lips, biting at his neck, stroking at his sides, and it was wonderful. Out of all the sensations he would have ever expected Izaya to wring from him, this had never been in his wildest dreams.

Until recently.

Shizuo let out little moans at every push of Izaya's hips, his strong legs encouraging the man to thrust harder and faster. They fucked like they fought. Every move calculated. Weaknesses assessed. Fire and passion and emotion running high.

But in this, Izaya's aim was to make Shizuo come undone beneath him. And the only part of Izaya that Shizuo wanted to pummel was the part that was already doing just that.

Izaya's face was open, and Shizuo watched him, enraptured, as their movements grew more frenzied and less measured. The smaller man was starting to shake, clearly torn between slowing down and lasting longer or chasing after his orgasm as quickly as possible.

Shizuo made the decision for him. Leaning in, he mouthed at Izaya's neck and growled, "Fuck me, Izaya-kun."

With a cry that sounded much less feline than either of them were really aware of at the time, Izaya tensed and shivered, eyes closing as he came hard into Shizuo's tight heat. And not moments later, he was batting Shizuo's hand away from his own cock with a snarl before taking up the job himself. Clever fingers stroked and twisted with no shred of hesitation, and Shizuo followed Izaya over the precipice eagerly.

Once their breath had slowed, Shizuo groaned and rolled over, grunting when Izaya slipped free and stretching out his legs.

"My bed, my rules. You get the wet spot."

With a snort, Izaya tied off the condom and dropped it over the side of the bed, which made Shizuo grimace, before flopping right back on top of the blond.

"Ugh, fine," was Shizuo's only comment before draping an arm over Izaya's slim waist. It wasn't like the man weighed much, after all. And lying like this was rather nice, all things considered.

Izaya purred, Shizuo smiled, and, worn out from a day full of emotions and revelations, neither moved until morning.

 

* * *

 

He'd been having nice dreams of soft fur and red eyes when they were rudely interrupted by a giggle.

"I see you've been busy!"

_You!_

"Yes, me. I just came to tell you that the fairytale is over. Izaya has his voice back."

_Then...then it worked..._

"Of course it did! What do you take me for?"

Shizuo remained silent, hoping that his glower was apparent even in sleep.

A sigh echoed through his mind. "What I wanted to ask was, do you want it to be over?"

_I...what?_

"He has his voice back, but I can leave the ears and tail on! He's so cute, after all. He can be your little kitty forever!"

Shizuo could feel his stomach clench as he warred between conflicting ideas. If Izaya were to revert back to normal, then he could be on his way. He wouldn't need Shizuo anymore... But if he never returned to normal, and if it were Shizuo's fault... What right did he have to keep the informant captive?

Even if it meant Izaya would leave.

Shizuo hoped... He hoped Izaya would be happy. Even if he was happy without him.

_Get rid of them._

There was another sigh, and what felt like a soft touch against his shoulder. "If that's what you want. Consider it done. Good luck, Heiwajima-san."

Shizuo hardly remembered the conversation when he awoke. It fluttered at the edges of his memory, but he was unable to catch it. Next to him, Izaya snuffled and rolled over.

"Hey. Wake up, flea."

Izaya grumbled out a, "No."

Shizuo waited for that to sink in. It didn't take long.

A moment later, Izaya was upright in bed, eyes wide.

Shizuo raised one eyebrow at him, and Izaya volleyed with a louder, "No!" His grin was comically, maniacally wide, and the informant let out a sharp peal of laughter that hinged between excitement and relief. He then flung himself back onto the mattress and positively writhed with joy, tangling himself up in the blankets and then turning to Shizuo with a giggle.

"Good morning, pest." There was no vitriol behind it, Shizuo's voice coming out as a low rumble.

"It is, isn't it!" Izaya crowed. He ran his fingers through his hair, noting the lack of fuzzy ears, he twisted to make sure the tail was gone, and like someone had flipped a switch, he went silent.

"Izaya...?"

Scarlet eyes blinked up at him, and Izaya sat up again with a sigh. "So I guess... Well, I've got the rest of that money I was going to pay you. I'll make sure to leave that behind. Now I imagine I should--"

He made to rise, but Shizuo's fingers closed tightly around his wrist. "Where are you going?"

"It's over, Shizu-chan. You're a free man, now. You've really been most accommodating, but I imagine I've far overstayed my welcome, and I've got loads of things to--"

"Shut up," Shizuo growled. "Stop it. Stop saying shit like that."

Izaya wouldn't meet his eyes, instead fixing them on where Shizuo's skin touched his. "What do you want me to say?" His voice was so quiet that Shizuo had to strain to hear it.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"Everything I've said is true, Shizu-chan."

Another growl. "No it fucking isn't."

Izaya's eyes were a whirlpool of emotions, and Shizuo was trying to sort them out, but Izaya just kept talking. "Then do tell me what I've got wrong so that I can fix it. Wouldn't want to go spouting lies, after all."

Short of strangling him, Shizuo had a hard time thinking of a better way of shutting him up than kissing the words straight out of his mouth.

So he did.

And once he'd pulled back, panting, Izaya's eyes swirled with confusion. And hope.

"Stop running from me." Shizuo took a breath, then took the plunge. "I'd miss you if you were gone."

Izaya made a noise somewhere between a whimper and a sob, then crushed his mouth to Shizuo's again. He wrestled himself free of the blankets so that he could clamber on top of Shizuo, and if the kiss tasted just a little bit salty, neither mentioned it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're almost done! Only the epilogue left to go~


	7. Epilogue

"Overall, how attached are you to Ikebukuro?"

Shizuo blinked at him, pausing in dousing his pancakes with a criminal amount of powdered sugar. Izaya wrinkled his nose.

"What?"

"To living here? Ever thought about leaving?"

Shizuo frowned. "Why would I leave? My work is here, my friends are here, it's home."

Izaya sighed and kicked at the ground with one sock-covered foot.

_Of course he wouldn't want to leave. It was silly of me to ask._

What he said out loud was, "Then at the very least I'm moving you into a nicer apartment."

"Excuse me?" Shizuo's grip on the fork in his hand tightened, and Izaya rose quickly to head off Shizuo's irritation.

He still marveled at how easy it was to bend and kiss the blond on the cheek, diffusing the situation and making Shizuo grumble and turn his head to catch Izaya's lips with his own. It felt like he'd been doing this for ages, this push and pull of Shizuo's rage, but where before he'd been concerned only with inciting it, he was now working to help the other man control it.

"Hear me out," he murmured, once they'd separated. "I found a place a few blocks over that's really nice, and it's got a giant window with a wonderful view. The water heater works properly and none of the lights buzz when you turn them on."

"Sounds way too fancy for me."

Izaya snorted. "Well, of course, but it's not for just you, Shizu-chan. As much as I appreciate the...modesty of your place, I prefer a higher standard of living, myself."

Shizuo opened his mouth, likely to protest, but then in a surprising turn of events, he closed it without saying a word. Eyes narrowing, Izaya could see Shizuo weighing the situation, and he could tell the moment he figured it out.

"You're asking me to move in with you."

"Well, not really. I'd still have my apartment in Shinjuku. I do value a good balance between my business and my private life."

Shizuo snorted and grinned. "You wouldn't know moderation if it bit you." And then he was kissing Izaya again, silencing the retort he had absolutely been about to make. "Why can't you just say what you mean instead of dancing around it?"

"Now, Shizu-chan, where would be the fun in that?"

 

* * *

 

It wasn't until they were moving out Shizu-chan's stuff - Izaya was supervising, of course - that he found the ribbon. It had been under the bed, apparently, and was a bit dusty, but it looked no worse for wear.

With a glance around to make sure no one was watching, Izaya pocketed it. He was allowed some sentimentalities.

 

* * *

 

"Ne, Shizu-chan~"

It was a testament to how often it happened that the blond didn't even sigh at the name. Though he did continue mauling the unfortunate traffic cone in his grip. Izaya supposed it was progress that it wasn't something more expensive.

With a feline sort of grace, Izaya lept into Shizuo's arms, ignoring Tom's snort and focusing more on winding himself around the taller man, who was forced to drop the cone in order to support him. Once Izaya had butted his head under Shizuo's chin and was fairly sure Shizuo wasn't about to explode anymore, Izaya turned his gaze toward his boyfriend's employer.

"Something on your mind, Tom?"

The man shook his head. "I'd ask how you always know when to show up, but I just realized I don't much care about the answer. It keeps the property damage down, and that's all I do care about."

Izaya grinned. "But that's so easy to answer. I know everything."

Tom rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm not surprised." And with a wave, he turned on his heel with a farewell to Shizuo and was gone, leaving the pair alone.

Shizuo groaned and leaned backward into a nearby wall, content to let Izaya purr in his arms - one of the holdovers from the spell or curse or whatever Izaya had been afflicted with. (Shizuo only occasionally teased him about it, because truthfully, he found it comforting and didn't ever want the smaller man to stop doing it.) Heartbeat slowing, muscles relaxing, Shizuo closed his eyes and just held Izaya.

"Thanks," he grumbled out, eventually.

"Ah, but you shouldn't thank me yet! After all, it's your turn to buy dinner!"

Huffing a laugh, Shizuo set the informant down and buried his hand in that thick, dark hair. Izaya laughed in response and skipped along at Shizuo's side. And when he adjusted the sleeves of his jacket, a bit of red fabric flashed at his wrist before being hidden underneath dark sleeves once more.

 

* * *

 

On a nearby corner, two best friends watched discreetly, stealing glances at the couple in between checking their phones and murmuring to each other.

Until the girl suddenly squealed and threw her arms around her friend, sending her black hat nearly flying."I did it! Look at how happy they are! Pay up, pay up!"

The blond pouted and turned to her, already reaching for his wallet. "I still think you cheated. That thing with the weather..."

She just giggled. "All's fair in love and war, Yuma-chi!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are! At the end of a very, very long ride~
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Minor edits may be forthcoming, but for now...I think I'm happy with it!
> 
> It feels very strange to finish this. To be done. But thank you so very much to all of the people who were there when this started, to all who are here now at its end, and to everyone in between who let me know that they would still be interested in reading this if I were to finish it.
> 
> This is for you. Thank you~


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